INT: Cave. A Wise Man sits on the floor, possibly casting runes or somesuch. A heavily armoured man enters and the Wise Man looks up.

WISE MAN: Why do you disturb the Wise Man of the cave?

KNIGHT: I seek the Lost Amulet of Bakthos.

WISE MAN: Such knowledge does not come cheap Sir Knight.

The Knight throws him a pouch containing coins.

WISE MAN: The Lost Amulet of Bakthos is many leagues away. You must cross the Forest of Chaos, travel through the dungeons you find there, descend into the valley on the other side and seek out the Temple of Arglon. There shall you find the Lost Amulet of Bakthos.

KNIGHT: Thank you friend, but I cannot risk you giving this information to my enemies who also quest for the Amulet.

He draws his sword and stabs the Wise Man then leaves the room. The Wise Man lies there dying. The Knight re-enters the room.

KNIGHT: Sorry, I forgot to ask what the Amulet looks like.

WISE MAN: (OBVIOUSLY IN GREAT PAIN) It is made of silver and carries a representation of a spider in its web.

KNIGHT: Thank you.

He draws his sword, stabs the Wise Man again and leaves. The Wise Man lies there dying even more. The Knight comes back in.

KNIGHT: And which way did you say the forest of Chaos was?

The Wise Man is too weak and nearly dead to answer and points in a direction, then expires. The Knight leaves.

Cut to: Knight hacking his way through some trees/bushes.
Cut to: Knight crawling down tunnel towards camera.
Cut to: Knight sliding down hill.
Cut to: Knight entering temple.
As he enters the temple, the Knight is attacked by an acolyte whom he swiftly dispatches. The Knight approaches an altar, upon which is an amulet.

KNIGHT: The Lost Amulet of Bakthos!

The Knight pulls a book and pencil from his pouch.
Close up on the Knight’s book. It turns out to be the "Eye Spy Book of Mythical Treasures". Knight scans down the list and ticks ‘Lost Amulet of Bakthos’.
 

---

For every expert there's an equal and opposite expert.
 

Very nice, and two top quality punches.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
AKA Da Pun-da-mentalist
AKA 3rd Chuckle Brother
 

Are the "I Spy" books still going ? I thought "Big Chief I Spy" got arrested for political correctness violations sometime in the 80s ??
 

---

"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

Was that the infamous

"I spy public toilets?"

or the even more infamous

"I spy Bin Laden," (still in use by the CIA)

by the way Afinkiwan having such a strong punch in the middle, has a nice where the hell is this going next surprise factor.

n.b. how come the unusual monicker?
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
AKA Da Pun-da-mentalist
AKA 3rd Chuckle Brother
 

I needed a stupid name for a character years ago (role-playing) and said "I don't know, I'll think of one later." which, in my dodgy Sahf Lahndan accent came out as "Dunno, afinkawan later."

When they invented the internet, it was a handy name that was pretty much guaranteed to be free anywhere I wanted to sign up, so I stuck with it.

In fact, every now and then, I go to register at a site and find the name Afinkawan is already taken. Invariably that means I have signed up in the past and forgotten about it.
 

---

For every expert there's an equal and opposite expert.
 

That's fabulous, and one of the rare funny RPG stories I ever heard (amazing how serious guys pretending to be Hobbits, and Paladins can be).

Maybe I should switch to my old RPG Monicker Thrungmarr Axe-thrash.

Actually I was worse I used to play Cuthulu, and Traveller.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
AKA Da Pun-da-mentalist
AKA 3rd Chuckle Brother
 

It was actually a live roleplaying character, who ended up being one of my favourite characters to play.

The Lost Amulet of Bakthos sketch was one I planned to try to film down Chislehurst Caves last month but we didn't get time unfortunately.
 

---

For every expert there's an equal and opposite expert.
 

Hoorah RPG comedy lives!

Never tried LRPG, was always in the back room of pubs with the beardy guys in Jethro Tull tshirts, rolling funny shaped dice.

Why did the hairiestm most pot bellied ones always insist on playing sexy female characters?

Always thought RPGs would make a fascinating sitcom. People playing people, who are usually their opposites.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
AKA Da Pun-da-mentalist
AKA 3rd Chuckle Brother
 

I got this onto Recorded For Training Purposes. It's in a similar vein.

http://www.articlesandtexticles.co.uk/imgs/0710/first_life.mp3
 

---

For every expert there's an equal and opposite expert.
 

Very nice, excellent even.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
AKA Da Pun-da-mentalist
AKA 3rd Chuckle Brother
 

Thank you. I wish I had those flashes of inspiration far more often!
 

---

For every expert there's an equal and opposite expert.
 

lol.

top work. They're both great.
 

excellent. especially liked that radio sketch.
 

---

http://planetgiraffe.com
http://www.myspace.com/planetgiraffe
http://uk.youtube.com/user/PlanetGiraffe