Yet another Tilt reject. Plenty more where this came from. This was quite an early one.

Dan

==================
STATE OF MATHS
==================

F/X: KNOCK ON DOOR

HEADTEACHER:
In!

F/X: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

MATHS TEACHER:
You wanted to see me, Headteacher?

HEADTEACHER:
Sit down, Head of Maths. Have you seen this newspaper?

F/X: NEWSPAPER THROWN DOWN, PICKED UP AND LEAFED THROUGH

HEADTEACHER:
Page 8 suggests that more primary school maths experts are needed.

F/X: LEAFING CONTINUES

MATHS TEACHER:
8 – is that one little duck or the legs?

HEADTEACHER:
It's the one fat lady.

MATHS TEACHER:
Of course it is.

F/X: FRANTIC LEAFING

MATHS TEACHER:
Aha!

HEADTEACHER:
The percentage of 11-year-olds attaining level 4 and above at Key Stage 2 has gone from 77% to 59%.

MATHS TEACHER:
What a rise!

HEADTEACHER:
It’s a fall.

MATHS TEACHER:
Of course it is. A fall of... erm... 66 and a third per cent?

HEADTEACHER:
18—

MATHS TEACHER:
—*18* per cent! Disgraceful…

HEADTEACHER:
How many of our students are at level 4?

MATHS TEACHER:
Erm. (MUTTERS) One-two's is two. Two two's are five. Three two's is... (BEAT) 300%.

HEADTEACHER:
300% of our pupils are at level 4?

MATHS TEACHER:
Yes. Almost definitely.

HEADTEACHER:
Well above average then?

MATHS TEACHER:
Average?

HEADTEACHER:
(SIGHS) It states quite clearly in that report that the UK is one of the few developed nations where it's socially acceptable to declare you are useless at maths.

MATHS TEACHER:
Does it?!

HEADTEACHER:
Under the bit about teachers' basic requirement for training.

MATHS TEACHER:
Erm... yes... of course.

HEADTEACHER:
Tell me, Head of Maths, what is that requirement?

MATHS TEACHER:
Err... 'on-knee ger-ke-sur-eh iy-n te-he soob-jer-ektee'.

HEADTEACHER:
Was that 'One GCSE in the subject'?

MATHS TEACHER:
Erm... yes?

F/X: SIGH THEN BUTTON PRESS AND BEEP OF INTERCOM

HEADTEACHER:
School Secretary – get me Head of English!

END
 

It's not bad, but it's a bit obvious in some ways, and it's too long.

Reduce it to 2-4 lines of fast dialogue and you could be going places.
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Quote: swerytd @ May 13 2008, 12:45 PM BST

HEADTEACHER:
The percentage of 11-year-olds attaining level 4 and above at Key Stage 2 has gone from 77% to 59%.

MATHS TEACHER:
What a rise!

HEADTEACHER:
It’s a fall.

MATHS TEACHER:
Of course it is. A fall of... erm... 66 and a third per cent?

HEADTEACHER:
18—

View original

Wanting to be pedantic, the fall would only be 18% if attributed to ALL children. As we've established that 77% of children attained level 4 and above at Key Stage 2, you would need base your fall on the 77% figure. Therefore 59% would represent a 23.38% (approx) fall on the previous figures.

Just thought I'd clear that up.

Neat sketch BTW - I liked it.
 

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WTF?

 

I can honestly say, that's the most unusual critique I've ever had.

Despite the maths degree, I clearly understand as much about stats as I ever did...

Dan