This is just a quick idea I've had while doing another sketch. I don't think this idea is very strong and also I think the punchline may be a bit weak, but I'd appreciate it if you could let me know what you think, thanks in advance. Paul

JOSEF FRITZEL AND HIS WIFE ROSEMARIE FRITZEL ARE ON THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW.

Jerry
Today we meet the man who kept his daughter in what can only be described as a 'dungeon' for 24 years and most shockingly also fathered his own daughters children! And,after all that, he and his wife remain as strong as ever. But first of all let me introduce the wife of Josef Fritzel, Rosemarie.

(AUDIENCE CHEER)

Rosemarie
Hi Jerry.

Jerry
Hello and welcome to the show.

Rosemarie
Hello Jerry. How are you?

Jerry
I'm fine, So now we have Rosemarie out I think we need Josef out here too.

(AUDIENCE BOO)

Josef
Fuck off! You don't know me. (SITS DOWN) Hi Jerry.

Jerry
Hello, I believe you have something to tell your wife, something that may end the marriage for good.

Rosemarie
No, nothing will end our marriage, we are strong and will get through this.(HOLDS HAND WITH HUSBAND)

(AUDIENCE CLAPS)

Josef
OK, basically Rosemarie, It's about the cellar incident.

Rosemarie
It's OK, we don't have to go over that again.

Josef
No you don't understand.

Rosemarie
Oh, what is it then? You have more of our children down there? You've secretly been planning to kill me? It doesn't matter, as long as you love me.

Josef
You know when I told you that I constructed the whole dungeon by myself?

Rosemarie
Oh I do hate it when you call it the dungeon. But yes, I can remember you telling me that.

Josef
Well I never, Polish Dave came round, and well, he offered me a good deal and well, I got it done on the cheap.

(SOUND OF SHOCK FROM CROWD)

Rosemarie
(STANDS UP AND THROWS WEDDING RING AT HIM, SHE EXITS STAGE, AUDIENCE CHEERS)
 

It's passable idea, and could work. But to long, and too much exposition. Also what's wrong with Polish Dave?
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you." Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Nice setting. I agree with Sootyj, what is wrong with Polish Dave? It might be more in keeping with Jerry Springer if he just admitted to wearing his wife's underwear when she was out, and it is that, that she finds overly offensive?

"I forgive you for abusing our daughter and fathering her children but how dare you stretch my delicate panties!"
 

I don't get it. If she is only angry that he got it done cheap, then why does he need to be Polish? Unless you're being racist.??
 

Presumably Paul's intention is to show that Mrs.Fritzl would disapprove of having work done by Polish immigrants, not that he himself does. But keep going with the knee-jerk accusations of racism everytime someone mentions nationality guys, it's a great help.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

I agree..if something's funny then laugh if not don't.

How come it isn't racist to make reference to the Welsh, Scottish or Irish?

If the PC brigade have there way it will be a crime to refer to someones baldness, gingerness (I know it's not a word but let it go). I myself am not the skinniest of people but i don't think it's the end of the world if someone refers to it. (I just know that someones going to reply to this by referring to me as a Welsh, Jock, Paddy ginger fat bastard!!)
 

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What you talkin' about Willis?