I suppose as under achiever I mean under achiever as a politician. He dodges votes, never headed up an office, and alternates between sycophantically doing what his party tells him to do, and humiliating by accident.

That said I've always been quite impressed, by the story of him forgetting his lines for a Shakesperean play, and improving in perfect iambic pentameter.

I wouldn't trust Ken to feed my cat, and I don't have a cat. I would trust him to manage a 10 billion rail project.
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Quote:

That said I've always been quite impressed, by the story of him forgetting his lines for a Shakesperean play, and improving in perfect iambic pentameter.

That's pretty much what he did for our panto. I had crafted some witty lines for him which he binned instantly in favour of spouting extempore poetry, "This beanstalk of Jack's / Grows like Gordon Brown's tax" etc.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

I always felt politics were wasted on him. As a free wheeling critic, and wit he would be so much better. A sort of Conservative Ben Elton (before he was shit). As a stand up, and comic he could deflate Gordy in the way he deserves. The sight of him as a mayoral candidate is seen as a universally sad one (and yes that includes the right wing press).

He was in your panto I'm impressed.
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

He was only in it on the last night for about five minutes, but the look of shock and awe on the faces of the audience when the Fairy Godmother disappeared off stage and came back on bringing Boris with her was something I will take to my grave.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

Well I never, where do you actually live Windsor, Monmothshire, the Vale of Arden?

What Green and Pleasant Land do Tory Toffs alight upon.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

I live in Oxfordshire where as any fule kno Boris is the MP for Henley-on-Thames.

Does anyone know if Boris will have to resign the whip if he becomes London Mayor ? Is the newt fancier still MP for the People's Republic of Brent while simultaneously pursuing his other aspirations ? (ie whisky and mistresses, making him a far more interesting character than previously suspected.)
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

My local one is commited anti war liberal Jeremy Corbyn.

Maybe I could put on a performance of Oh What a Lovely War?

or When the Wind Blows.

He could come up with a hilarious half an hour lecture on the damages of fascism.
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Tell him you're putting on Rambo! - The Musical and ask him would he say a few words at the opening night.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

I'd probably say Rimbaud the musical, and he can have the role of the evil Russian comandante.

Was that my most intellectually coherent gag ever?

Quote: Griff @ April 14 2008, 8:16 PM BST

I live in Oxfordshire where as any fule kno Boris is the MP for Henley-on-Thames.

Does anyone know if Boris will have to resign the whip if he becomes London Mayor ? Is the newt fancier still MP for the People's Republic of Brent while simultaneously pursuing his other aspirations ? (ie whisky and mistresses, making him a far more interesting character than previously suspected.)

View original

Yes he will, it was always an issue.

Some might say DC has found a convenient way of getting rid of a popular pain in the bum.
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Well it was over my head, that's for sure.

But instead of Wikipedia-ing Rimbaud to find out what the hell you're on about, I'm going to go and write some sketches now. Later, meatbag.

Quote:

Yes he will, it was always an issue.

Some might say DC has found a convenient way of getting rid of a popular pain in the bum.

Wow. Who will the good people of Henley turn to, I wonder ? Who's the next poshest person in Britain ? Is Brian Sewell available ?

 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

God bless our brawling, shagging, boozing, bastard acknowledging alpha male mayor. If he wasn't mayor he'd be the new Che Gueverra, overthrowing the despotic regimes of Dorset, and the Isle of White.


Ah you watched it good stuff, fun isn't it!
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Quote:

Ah you watched it good stuff, fun isn't it!

Well episode one was pretty funny.

Now I really am going.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 3:17 PM BST

racist biggot? old-boys network ignoramus? attention seeking, plastic politician? poster-boy for right-wing apologists? fat faced twat?

View original

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 2:56 PM BST

Boris Johnson is an abolute cock, a dreadful human being. I have no doubt though that he will be back on HIGNFY, desperately begging for attention (and money) as soon as he loses the election. That is all.

View original

With any luck, he won't lose.

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 4:13 PM BST

We will have to agree to disagree I think. I, like many, find him repulsive.

View original

This "many" you speak of is firmly in the minority, from my experience.

Quote: Tim Walker @ April 14 2008, 4:03 PM BST

Reading Boris is both funny and thought-provoking.

View original

Well said!

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 4:26 PM BST

He's a charming puppet, for a rather sinister Consrvative Party. A vote for him would be a very big nail in the coffin of British democracy.

View original

?!

(And the objectionable nature of Ken is his only positive.)

Quote: Richard Wells @ April 14 2008, 6:12 PM BST

I find pretty much every labour MP repulsive so there you go lol.

View original

Good boy, good boy!

Quote: Griff @ April 14 2008, 6:23 PM BST

I've met Boris twice, once in a pub, and a second time when he did a guest spot in a village panto I was musical directing. It was quite challenging working an arrangement of the "Eton Boating Song" into Jack And The Beanstalk and not telling the rest of the band why. (Boris's appearance at this particular charity fundraiser was on the hush-hush until the day.)

And I can vouch that he is very funny, very clever, and very charismatic. And indeed, very huge.

But underachiever ? Really ? He's a Member of Parliament, in fact a Shadow Cabinet Minister, and he might turn out to be Mayor of London. He's a successful broadsheet journalist, magazine editor, and ex President of the Oxford Union. He's a bestselling author of history books, journalism collections and fiction. And on top of all that, he does funny turns on TV.

Regardless of your views on his politics, we should all be such underachievers.

View original

I WANNA MEET BORIS! *stamps foot and sulks*
 

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Aaron
BSG Forums & DVDs Editor
(Half man, half Internet, half TV.)
(Loyal follower of The Magical Aura of Laura.)

 

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 7:32 PM BST

Seriously now, is there more to the british flag thing on here than meets the eye? I have noticed a definite right-wing bias on quite a few of the threads...is this a covert tory/bnp site?
!
just to be safe, I'm going to tell ricky gervais, peter baynam (sp?) et al and get you lot blacklisted

View original

Don't bother, like most of us they too are closet Nazis.

 

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 7:32 PM BST

Seriously now, is there more to the british flag thing on here than meets the eye?

View original

Are you seriously one of these nutters who associates the flag with racism?

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 7:32 PM BST

I have noticed a definite right-wing bias on quite a few of the threads...is this a covert tory/bnp site?

View original

. . . Are these threads in some kind of magical forum that even I don't have access to?

Quote: zooo @ April 14 2008, 7:39 PM BST

Hmm. It's quite an intriguing concept to say that because you find Boris very funny and charismatic, that magically makes you a big old racist.

How very prejudiced...

View original

In my experience, the people who complain about racist, bigotted, prejudiced Tories tend to be the ones who are racist, bigotted, prejudiced... Both amusing, and despairing.
 

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Aaron
BSG Forums & DVDs Editor
(Half man, half Internet, half TV.)
(Loyal follower of The Magical Aura of Laura.)