It's finished finally finished and polished an episode of my animated comedy Meet the Newmans. It's now being processed for animation so here it is hope everyone enjoys.

Opportunities
Sara is offered a job in London but Mike isn’t anxious to return to his once home. Sara is adamant she wants to take the job. So Mike hatches an ingenious scheme to stop Sara getting the job....

Direct Script Link
http://www.meetthenewmans.co.uk/build/pdf/Meetthenewmans_Opportunities.pdf

Link to Script Page
http://meetthenewmans.co.uk/scripts.html

Any Critism welcome. Thank you.
 

---

Greenman Media. | Meet The Newmans.com | Newmans on Myspace.
 

Well you know I like this script, latest revisions make it seem a lot tighter.

Can't wait to see it.


 

---

Script Editing, Script Writing, Voice Work, Acting - I am a true Comedy Whore... I will do it all just PM me.

JunkMales MySpace | JunkMales YouTube | My Facebook


 

I'm notoriously bad at reading long scripts, I do apologise. I've read a few pages, up to the point with the anteater (in Wales?!). Anyway, I seem to remember you mentioning ages ago, something about animals being able to talk in this world, can't remember the full details though?

Anyway, no real constructive criticism or feedback to offer yet but maybe one day, maybe one day...

I liked what I read so far, the dog would look great jumping around all over the place.

It's just very hard to visualise an animation that doesn't involve OTT actions, so when the humans are talking normally - to me it reads quite flat, which I'm sure it's not but this still makes it harder to read.

I'm rambling...
 

---

As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University
 

Cheers Danny and Lee

I would have a tendancy of agreeing with you Lee the more mudane conversation is more reality based. I don't think thats neccessarily a bad thing though the scene has been layered to provide a large "laugh" count so the more subtle jokes in the dialgoue are going to be overlooked first time for the big brash cartoon elements. But rewatchabiltiy is a big factor of my projects I am a frim believer of allowing people to watch a number of times and notice something different each time.
 

---

Greenman Media. | Meet The Newmans.com | Newmans on Myspace.
 

Finally read it all and really enjoyed it, can't wait to see it completed. The ending is a little weak but maybe the visuals would make it more tasty. Well done Gav and the gang.

Suggestion:

Instead of,

MIKE: Oh right, here comes the tarty jewellery.
SARA: Your mother bought me these.
MIKE: Only for a laugh.

How about,

MIKE: Oh right, here comes the tarty jewellery.
SARA: These were your mothers.
MIKE: Yeah, but she was classy.


 

---

As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University