Wanking With Cavemen

Fly-on-the-wall documentary goes behind the scenes at The Chris Moyles Show. This week, the lard-gobbling retard manages to put his porn DVDs in the microwave and a cottage pie in his DVD player, before throwing a spazzy fit and blaming it on his seventeen-year-old wankspanner research assistant.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

Quote: sootyj @ May 20 2008, 2:35 PM BST

Chuck Norris takes a sabbatical, and is replaced by a large pig. Will he save the bacon? and avoid a hambush?

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ST. PANCRAS TO LILLE.
 

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Aaron
BSG Forums & DVDs Editor
Half man, half Internet, half TV.
(Loyal follower of The Magical Aura of Laura.)

 

Wanking with Dinosaurs
The ultimate in 'don't-get-caught' entertainment.
 

Ha! I saw a stand-up comic doing a set recently who commented on T.Rex's inability to wank due to having very short arms.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

20 Lambert & Butler
Ex-footballer Pauls (Lambert and Butler) realise there is money in drugs and open up a coffee warehouse in Amsterdam. It's such a success that they open a further 19 warehouses within a few hundred metres. Suddenly, others quickly get in on the act; Benson (the 80s British butler) joins forces with ex-Drop The Dead Donkey Gus Hedges to supply similarly hard-core drugs via their 'Benson & Hedges' emporium whilst Robert Kilroy-Silk sets up a customised cutting service in his 'Silk Cut' store. Their businesses get so successful that soon major tobacco companies realise that they don't want to be associated with legalised drugs that cause terminal diseases and all rename themselves. Unfortunately, the only web domain name left is www.cigarettesareshit.com and they all have to share it, eventually going bust in the process. Light-hearted evangelism comedy.

Dan
 

The Worst Wank Of My Life

Ben Miller understandably disappointed as Jade Goody replaces Sarah Alexander in adult version of popular sitcom.

The Wankest Link

Anne Robinson presides over horrendous sexual nightmare as each contestant tries not to blow what they've got in the bank.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

That Was The Wank That Was
David Frost interviews famous celebrities about their proudest onanistic achievement. Baddiel and Skinner come in towards the end of each episode to do a 'Phoenix From The Flames' recreation live in the studio. Stomach-churning.

Dan
 

Record Breaker Breaker

Contestants must chuck Norris Mcwhirter over a convoy of trucks whilst speaking CB radio slang at the same time. Requires a lot of 'dedication'. Worth an eyeball.
 

Quote:

That Was The Wank That Was
David Frost interviews famous celebrities about their proudest onanistic achievement. Baddiel and Skinner come in towards the end of each episode to do a 'Phoenix From The Flames' recreation live in the studio. Stomach-churning.

Moving Wank Paper
Comedy about two paper boys delivering massive amounts of porn to their nearest council estate. Spermy japes aplenty as they deny spoiling the centre pages of Nick Griffin's Inter-Racial Jugg Fest.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"

 

Wankety-Wank
Gameshow where Lily Savage puts out a card with gaps in a story and the contestants have to try and fill the gaps simply with their aim. The celebrity guests all have a go and the one who's bodily fluid puddles most closely match, wins.

'A new low for 'Challenge TV' ' -- Fern Brittan
'Disgusting pastiche of that old show that Les Dawson was in... The Russ Abbott Show' -- Carole Malone

Slaughterday Kitchen
Geoffrey Dahmer cooks up some recipes with the (literal) accompaniment of some Z-list celebrities. Hannibal Lector advises us on which wines bring out the best flavour of Jeff Brazier Hot-Pot. Finger-licking nauseousness.

Dan
 

The Worst Thread on the Board

...
 

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Aaron
BSG Forums & DVDs Editor
Half man, half Internet, half TV.
(Loyal follower of The Magical Aura of Laura.)

 

Is that a suggestion, or an invitation to a duel Aaron?

I should warn you I'm a dead shot with a dueling pun at 15 yards.
 

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The ASDA of satire.

I hate purity, I hate goodness!I don't want any virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones.

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.

1984
 

Jason and the Aaronauts
Mythical action adventure as Jason, a loose-internet-cannon, tries to forge his way through a land full of over-zealous, judgemental web administrators. He eventually fights his way through to his freedom after a fatiguing 28-hour challenge of trying to spell 'weird' correctly.

Dan
 

Threadcases

CGI/BSG/WTF?
 

Aaron A G String
Contrived comedy involving sublime Bach music, a pedantic web administrator, and a humiliating thong.
 

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"'Reality,' sa molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder.'"