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On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Been a bit heavy this evening how about a versus contest.
Who'd win between Gordon Brown armed with a spear, and a Grizzly Bear.
My money's on Gordon, here's face shows no emotion, so the bear wouldn't know it was in trouble. Then he could bore it unconscious by banging on about tax credits.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Gordon, yep.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
2 wasps one large bee?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Wasps.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
They're bastards, in a fancy jackets.
Lorraine Kelly vs Vanessa Feltz?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: sootyj @ May 15 2008, 11:15 PM BSTThey're bastards, in a fancy jackets.
Lorraine Kelly vs Vanessa Feltz?
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That would be totally unfair and one-sided.
Lorraine could beat her with a smile and a sense of humour.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
This isn't a battle of niceness it is a battle of death!
Besides Feltz is way smarter, and has more gravitas.
LK has nicer decolletage.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: sootyj @ May 15 2008, 11:23 PM BSTThis isn't a battle of niceness it is a battle of death!
Besides Feltz is way smarter, and has more gravitas.
LK has nicer decolletage.
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You what?
Is that the same Vanessa Feltz I'm thinking of?
She may have more gravity.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
She's a proper journalist, or at least used to be.
Albeit not as attractive as LK.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: sootyj @ May 15 2008, 11:27 PM BSTShe's a proper journalist, or at least used to be.
Albeit not as attractive as LK.
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It's not just the physical thing but Feltz seems to have no sense of humour whatsoever.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Graham Bandage said:
Feltz has got the girth, but we know she cracks up under strain. Kelly would make mincemeat of her. She may be all smiley on the telly, but don't forget, she's a Scot. They drink metal, for goodness' sake.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Feltz all the way on that one!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
Go Bear!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Blimey!
Grizzly.
David Chapman vs Charley?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Graham Bandage said:
Well, Charley, duh!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, EllieJP said:
Chapman would pretend he hates being beaten up by Charley - but would actually die happy as he gives in to Charleys relentless tongue whippings.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Doberman, versus spider monkey riding on the back of a beagle?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
Quote: EllieJP @ May 16 2008, 10:14 AM BSTChapman would pretend he hates being beaten up by Charley - but would actually die happy as he gives in to Charleys relentless tongue whippings.
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agreed.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: zooo @ May 16 2008, 10:04 AM BSTDavid Chapman vs Charley?
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She'd just lift the lips of her flange and place them over him. Kind of like a tea cosy, really.
Only far more disturbing.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
Quote: Aaron @ May 16 2008, 11:16 AM BSTShe'd just lift the lips of her flange and place them over him. Kind of like a tea cosy, really.
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I wonder if Chapman Boy Punster could wordplay his way out of this one!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
He's yet to wordplay his way out of a paper bag, so I'm sure Charley's woollen tea cosy will be beyond his comprehension.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: Aaron @ May 16 2008, 11:29 AM BSTHe's yet to wordplay his way out of a paper bag, so I'm sure Charley's woollen tea cosy will be beyond his comprehension.
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I've just managed to get out!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Benny Hill Zombie, versus Bernard Manning Zombie?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Geoff Mutton said:
Quote: sootyj @ June 26 2008, 7:10 AM BSTBenny Hill Zombie, versus Bernard Manning Zombie?
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A closely-fought contest until the Yakety Sax chase. It's got to be Benny.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Yul Bryner vs Telly Savalas, armed with giant poisoned lollipops.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
God vs an atheist with a knife.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
mmmmmmm trick one, a man with a knife fighting a mythical being would probably end up in care
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Hmm I reckon aetheist, all he'd have to do is stop believing and God would disapear.
Unless God smote him first.
Heston Blumenthal armed with a sea bass vs Gordon Ramsey armed with a big dictionary full of rude words.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
Both are pretty tough in the chef steaks (eh eh) but I reckon Ramsey is all mouth, Heston wins
The carrot or the stick?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
The stick, the carrot always tries to placate, the stick goes straight for the kill.
Unless it's at night, then it's advantage carrot, night vision see.
Nelson Mandela vs Robert Mugabe, bare knuckles.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blue Bottle said:
Quote: sootyj @ May 15 2008, 10:33 PM BSTBeen a bit heavy this evening how about a versus contest.
Who'd win between Gordon Brown armed with a spear, and a Grizzly Bear.
My money's on Gordon, here's face shows no emotion, so the bear wouldn't know it was in trouble. Then he could bore it unconscious by banging on about tax credits.
View original
A clear win for the Bear...
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Gordon+Brown+armed+with+a+spear&word2=Grizzly+Bear
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
Bare knuckles Mugabe wins, but Mandela does walk with that stick now so he might win, unless it's at night and Mugabe has a carrot in his pocket
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blue Bottle said:
Quote: sootyj @ June 26 2008, 9:20 AM BSTThe stick, the carrot always tries to placate, the stick goes straight for the kill.
Unless it's at night, then it's advantage carrot, night vision see.
Nelson Mandela vs Robert Mugabe, bare knuckles.
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The stick still wins, as it uses night vision goggles
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=the+carrot+at+night&word2=the+stick+at+night
Nelson Mandela has the edge even at ninety
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Nelson+Mandela&word2=Robert+Mugabe
Quote: Simon Stratton @ June 26 2008, 8:57 AM BSTGod vs an atheist with a knife.
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Wasn't that in His Dark Materials? Not much of a contest, if I remember it right.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
Hmmm...according to this, a lover beats a fighter. That can't be right.
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=lover&word2=fighter
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Trevor Nelson v Willy Nelson v Admiral Nelson
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
Haven't drunk in the first two but the Admiral Nelson is not a bad pub
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
Quote: sootyj @ June 26 2008, 10:33 AM BSTTrevor Nelson v Willy Nelson v Admiral Nelson
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Willy'll poke your eye out, or so I've heard.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Admiral Nelson, he's so tough, he can kiss a bloke, and still be nails.
The Dalai Lama vs a Llama.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
The Llama wins in this life, the Dalai in the next.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Griff said:
Good call!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
There is no next life in buddism, it's all about reincarnation. The DL could return as a Tiger and eat the Llama.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nick Rivers said:
Quote: Sofa_Matt @ June 26 2008, 3:28 PM BSTThe Llama wins in this life, the Dalai in the next.
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best response on this website. Ever.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
If you ignore the fundimental ignorance of the buddist religion, yep. Humphf.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
Quote: Nick Rivers @ June 26 2008, 4:19 PM BSTbest response on this website. Ever.
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Thanks
Quote: Simon Stratton @ June 26 2008, 4:18 PM BSTThere is no next life in buddism, it's all about reincarnation. The DL could return as a Tiger and eat the Llama.
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Although not everyone agrees.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Wow that makes Tibetan Budhists sound like Power Rangers. The Chinese are invading the temple, quick kill your selves, and reincarnate as Tigrons.
Paddington Bear vs Paddington Station vs Dead Kids TV star.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Nick Rivers @ June 26 2008, 4:19 PM BSTbest response on this website. Ever.
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Quite possibly, yes.
Quote: Simon Stratton @ June 26 2008, 4:18 PM BSTThere is no next life in buddism, it's all about reincarnation.
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That's true.
Quote: Simon Stratton @ June 26 2008, 4:18 PM BSTThe DL could return as a Tiger and eat the Llama.
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That's not.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Barack Obama vs John McCaine, McCaine gets a big stick.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, NickTheDon said:
Quote: sootyj @ June 26 2008, 8:22 PM BSTBarack Obama vs John McCaine, McCaine gets a big stick.
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This is a tricky one. I originally thought McCain because his name sounds a bit like John McClane (Bruce Willis' character in Die Hard). But then we all know who Obama sounds like...but Bruce is very good at dealing with terrorists. So John McCain it is!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
John. No contest, stick regardless.
Andy Murray vs. Charles Hawtrey.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
Keith Moon v Alvin Stardust
Gordon Breastswamp v Alan Titsmarsh
Magic Roundabout v Spaghetti Junction
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: roscoff @ June 26 2008, 11:32 PM BSTKeith Moon v Alvin Stardust
Gordon Breastswamp v Alan Titsmarsh
Magic Roundabout v Spaghetti Junction
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Yes - well!
Roskoff v Bob Flemming.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Timbo said:
Quote: sootyj @ May 16 2008, 10:31 AM BSTDoberman, versus spider monkey riding on the back of a beagle?
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Does the monkey have a gun?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
Don't they always?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: roscoff @ June 26 2008, 11:48 PM BSTDon't they always?
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Oohh - controversial!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Quote: roscoff @ June 26 2008, 11:32 PM BSTKeith Moon v Alvin Stardust Stardust, Alvin Stardust he's like an evil Cliff Richard 9alright more evil)
Gordon Breastswamp v Alan Titsmarsh Alan, who can stand against Englands worst writer of sex scenes.
Magic Roundabout v Spaghetti Junction Spaghetti Junction, Magic ROundabouts French.
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Quote: Timbo @ June 26 2008, 11:46 PM BSTDoes the monkey have a gun?
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Now that's just being ridiculous
Quote: Aaron @ June 26 2008, 10:26 PM BSTJohn. No contest, stick regardless.
Andy Murray vs. Charles Hawtrey.
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Charles of course. Andy will get knocked out, but Charles just carries on (alas to the local Booze Buster most likely)
BSG vs Chortle (with a baseball bat)vs BBC Writers room (with a shitgun)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
BSG. Obviously.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Of course, just checking.
The Black and White Minstrels vs The Menstrual cycle.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
I'm betting Chortle actually as the majority of people on here don't seem to have actually experienced the great outdoors. Apart from putting the rubbish out and so thatobviously gives the Chortle thug squad a gritty edge.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
You put the rubbish outside? You don't have a chute, to your wheely bin. The outside, it's so very, very, bright.
And there's people.
[#
BSG vs Chortle (with a baseball bat)vs BBC Writers room (with a shitgun)
[/quote]
Ha ha! You wrote shitgun, you twat.
Oh dear my spelling is so bad, I've started mocking it.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
You could have pretended that it was intentional!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Never, and lose the postmodernist edge of that gag.
Besides what kind of numpty writes shitgun, as a cheap laugh?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
Err, you?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Not me, I wrote it as a typo.
See even my typos are hilarious.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
When you say hilarious........
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Hey stop picking on me, I feel like Robert Mugabe here.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Sofa_Matt said:
Ah a Robert Mugabe reference, back to form then Joel!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Look is it my fault, he's a comical, psychopath, who makes jokes about our gouvernment, whislt wearing shirts covered in his photo (which he makes his kids wear as well).
I didn't make him a joke.
He did, I'm just observing it.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Griff said:
Quote:the majority of people on here don't seem to have actually experienced the great outdoors. Apart from putting the rubbish out
BSG-ers don't put their rubbish out, they post it in Critique.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
I like his style of politics. None of this wishy washy democracy for Bob. A true blue dictator. When I grow up I want to be just like him. I said I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HIM! See, I've already got a good start
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
Quote: Griff @ June 27 2008, 1:42 PM BSTBSG-ers don't put their rubbish out, they post it in Critique.
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Ouch, get 'er.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Griff said:
Oh I can't help going for the obvious gag when someone gives me a setup line like that. I don't mean it.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Unlike when I tell 'em.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Alf vs Malf
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
I read that as 'Milf'. Which sounds far more interesting.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Stan Doubt said:
I think the Milf would win.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
I was thinking of Happy Days, but a Milf may provide more happy days...
Catweazle vs Stig of the Dump
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
Captain Pugwash v Captain Birdseye 
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Paul W said:
Jesus Vs Santa
Or the long awaited:
Me Vs A midget
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
The midget, without a doubt.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Paul W said:
Quote: Aaron @ June 29 2008, 12:22 PM BSTThe midget, without a doubt.
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I got 3/1 on the midget!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
That means three chances in one, right?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Paul W said:
Quote: Aaron @ June 29 2008, 12:29 PM BSTThat means three chances in one, right?
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Not a betting man Aaron?
(those odds mean the midget will kill me with his tiny fists of fury)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
No, not a clue how to.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Quote: Paul W @ June 29 2008, 12:14 PM BSTJesus Vs Santa
Or the long awaited:
Me Vs A midget
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Birds eye's icy fish fingers of death, easy.
Quote: Paul W @ June 29 2008, 12:14 PM BSTJesus Vs Santa
Or the long awaited:
Me Vs A midget
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Jesus is a fictional character, and a hippy to boot.
Does the midget have a step ladder, to aid punching you in the nuts?
Fireman Sam vs Bob the Builder vs Postman Pat?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Fireman Sam. He'd blow them away with his long hose.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Gavin said:
Quote: Aaron @ June 29 2008, 7:18 PM BSTFireman Sam. He'd blow them away with his long hose.
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Probably be on strike again moaning about pay.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
HAHahahah
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Cats vs Dogs
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Cats
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Griff said:
Cats wouldn't lower themselves to anything so unseemly.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Lots of guinea pigs vs a pig
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Griff @ June 29 2008, 9:29 PM BSTCats wouldn't lower themselves to anything so unseemly.
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That is of course very true, but we're only talking hypothetically anyway.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
Pans People v Legs & Co v Hot Gossip. I win you all lose. 
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Batman and Robin vs Bananaman
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, dannyjb1 said:
MC Tunes vs 808 state.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Graham Bandage said:
Science vs romance.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
HG Wells wins as he invented Scientific Romance
Captain Scarlet vs Joe 90
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Graham Bandage said:
Scarlet. 90's clever but the Spectrum guy's indestructible.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
And good with colours. Loo-tenant Brown indeed.
Supertramp versus an Angry tramp.