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Kit Kat Sketch
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Jack Massey said:
A man goes into a sweet shop and is served by a really big fat woman.
MAN: I'll have a Kit Kat Chunky
WOMAN: Certainly Sir
The woman comes back with a Kit Kat
MAN: No, I just wanted a normal Kit Kat you fat cow.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Well it kinda works, but it's a bit mean, also it seems more of a start of jolly brand misunderstanding. Possibly finishing with a rather nasty finger of fudge joke.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, swerytd said:
It's a bit nasty Jack. Can't you switch it around so she gets offended when he didn't mean it?
The idea is a good one though.
Dan
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Mybe she should retort by grabbing him by the curly wurlies 
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, waring said:
the actor would have to deliver it just right but i think the final line could be
No, I just wanted a normal Kit Kat (very brief pause) Chunky.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ShoePie said:
Yeah, too mean. Swertd's idea is good.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
It's not a good idea to assume performers will get your words just right.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, waring said:
assume makes an ass out of u and me after all.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
How about the woman offers him a cat, in a pink bow, with diamante earings, and an "I love camp," tshirt.
Too which the man says,
"I wanted a kit kat, not a kitsch cat, you fat bastard,"
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, DIKTURNIP said:
It's a good enough gag as it is; but surely nobody says "certiny sir" anymore.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, waring said:
no one's ever said certiny sir.
it feels like you need to have her saying something for the flow of the sketch - but thinking about it (and no disrespect to fatties intended) you could just have the description 'she looks at him, grudgingly stands up and waddles over to to where the Kit Kat Chunkys are'
i love this sketch by the way.
Nothing wrong with mocking fat people, they lend themselves to it.
i feel i'm wandering into offensive territory here but i've read Shannon and Fritzl sketches on here so this pales next to them.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Well that seems aimed at me, so thanks awfully Waring.
Mean spirited sniping at people who are different how hugely, wonderfully funny that is.
And topical, satirical stuff, how bad and evil.
There's also Maddy skits for you to get your uptight nickers in a twist over.
It's about what you're trying to joke about, and what your intent is.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, waring said:
not aimed at you at all - i've read loads of fritzl sketches on here.
unless your a great tubby bastard!
i'd say at least half of all comedy shows ever have poked fun at fat people at some point.
They're good to poke, easy on the finger.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Hmm well I am more of John Candy than Russell Brand.
But check out my variant, it's not the subject.
Far as I'm concerned everything is a potential joke, and is potentially funny.
And I mean everything.
It's just, ha ha point gags, they're kinda weak, and obvious.
It's why if you fit a twist, or a second punch they're funnier.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, waring said:
i'm not attacking offensive sketches - it's just they fall extra flat if they're not funny.
i agree with you on the last point but i think some sketches are better as one quick joke then move on. which is how i feel on this.
i saw jimmy carr live last year and i'm going to see frankie boyle later this year so i'm not completely anti-offensive it's just got to be extra extra funny or it leaves a sour taste, and maybe on this site everyone pounces on the latest horrific news story a bit too quickly (this is probably a fault of most of the radio sketches being news based)
I've read plenty of your sketches i've liked, sorry if there's any ill feeling.
back on topic (sort of): I'm skinny with a pot belly.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
I just like good jokes, and quickies are the best, but they have to be stunning, and surprising.
This one was ok, but just not stunning.
As for Fritzzell, and how ever monsterous his crimes....it is kinda funny. I mean who got who mothers day cards and stuff? The bleak, dark humour of madness.
Anyway i liked my varinat, kitsch cat is a nice pun, especially with a mean second punch.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, waring said:
a stunning sketch, you are demanding.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Bad dog said:
It's a funny, quick sketch. Perhaps to offset any potential offence, the man buying the kitkat could be large, as well.