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Impulse Buy
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
IMPULSE BUY
Scene inside a shop. A woman goes up to the counter with a few groceries.
Shopkeeper : Thank you madam. That will be twelve pounds 60 please.
Customer : There you go.
She looks towards the rack of cigarettes clearly on show behind the counter.
Customer : What are those?
Shopkeeper : These? (he points to the cigarettes)
Customer : Yes.
Shopkeeper : They're cigarettes.
Customer : They look interesting. What do you do with them.
Shopkeeper : You put them in your mouth, light them and inhale.
Customer : Sounds interesting. Give me one.
Shopkeeper : They're in packs of 10 or 20.
Customer : Really? Go on then. I'll have a packet of those pretty green ones.
Shopkeeper : Menthol?
Customer (laughs) : Well I'm a little bit scatty.
Shopkeeper : No - the green ones are menthol flavoured.
Customer : Do you have any chocolate flavoured ones?
Shopkeeper : I guess you've never smoked before.
Customer : How can you tell?
Shopkeeper : Just a hunch. So why do you want to start now?
Customer : Just an impulse really. I mean I saw all those little packets, all different pretty colours and I thought it would make a change.
Shopkeeper (Handing the packet over) : That will be four pounds 80 please.
Customer : (Reads the packet) Smoking Kills? That's not a very good advert is it.
Shopkeeper : They have to put that on there by law.
Customer : Oh well - you only live once. Live dangerously - that's what I say.
Customer leaves the shop.
Comes back a minute later, packet open with a cigarette in her mouth.
Customer : Um - excuse me. What do I do now?
Shopkeeper : Here, (he leans over and lights the cigarette)
Customer (starts coughing) : Wow - this is fun.
Shopkeeper : Lucky I had them on show wasn't it. Next week they're bringing in a law saying cigarettes must be kept below the counter.
Customer : Lucky me eh? What good timing.
)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
It's a great skit, with a poor ending. A gouverenment adviser coming on at the end with a stern warning for viewers would be ace.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Badge said:
Agree the ending is fairly weak at present. You could possibly throw in some stuff about her smoking indoors illegally - maybe the govt inspectors could pounce then, with a further pay-off about the future hidden cigs rule to round it off.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Thanks Sooty.
My endings are always crap.
I'd sent this to Newsrevue but not holding my breath.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Barbs said:
I like the ending - it makes perfect sense given the rest of the sketch.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: David Chapman @ March 27, 2008, 11:40 PM
Shopkeeper : Lucky I had them on show wasn't it. Next week they're bringing in a law saying cigarettes must be kept below the counter.
Customer : Lucky me eh? What good timing to take up smoking.
)
View original
Right - cocked up there but I think it's back the way it was.
So is that a slightly better ending?
(he says in an unashamed way of bumping his sketch)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
I thought that most of it was good as well. Perhaps after the woman's last line about taking up smoking she could do some smoke rings.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
I liked that David nice piss-take of the granny state. To me the ending is fine as, speaking for myself, I like a nice bit of understated dead-pan irony.
Nice one
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Well Newsrevue didn't like it but let's see what Tilt think of it.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
Good one Dave. Agree the ending could be re worked.