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Meet The Newmans: Opportunities
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Gavin said:
It's finished 
finally finished and polished an episode of my animated comedy Meet the Newmans. It's now being processed for animation so here it is hope everyone enjoys.
Opportunities
Sara is offered a job in London but Mike isn’t anxious to return to his once home. Sara is adamant she wants to take the job. So Mike hatches an ingenious scheme to stop Sara getting the job....
Direct Script Link
http://www.meetthenewmans.co.uk/build/pdf/Meetthenewmans_Opportunities.pdf
Link to Script Page
http://meetthenewmans.co.uk/scripts.html
Any Critism welcome. Thank you.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, dannyjb1 said:
Well you know I like this script, latest revisions make it seem a lot tighter.
Can't wait to see it.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Leevil said:
I'm notoriously bad at reading long scripts, I do apologise. I've read a few pages, up to the point with the anteater (in Wales?!). Anyway, I seem to remember you mentioning ages ago, something about animals being able to talk in this world, can't remember the full details though?
Anyway, no real constructive criticism or feedback to offer yet but maybe one day, maybe one day...
I liked what I read so far, the dog would look great jumping around all over the place.
It's just very hard to visualise an animation that doesn't involve OTT actions, so when the humans are talking normally - to me it reads quite flat, which I'm sure it's not but this still makes it harder to read.
I'm rambling...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Gavin said:
Cheers Danny and Lee
I would have a tendancy of agreeing with you Lee the more mudane conversation is more reality based. I don't think thats neccessarily a bad thing though the scene has been layered to provide a large "laugh" count so the more subtle jokes in the dialgoue are going to be overlooked first time for the big brash cartoon elements. But rewatchabiltiy is a big factor of my projects I am a frim believer of allowing people to watch a number of times and notice something different each time.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Leevil said:
Finally read it all and really enjoyed it, can't wait to see it completed. The ending is a little weak but maybe the visuals would make it more tasty. Well done Gav and the gang.
Suggestion:
Instead of,
MIKE: Oh right, here comes the tarty jewellery.
SARA: Your mother bought me these.
MIKE: Only for a laugh.
How about,
MIKE: Oh right, here comes the tarty jewellery.
SARA: These were your mothers.
MIKE: Yeah, but she was classy.