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Worst idea for a sitcom
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
This should be fun, bet you can all think of some stinking.
1 Several men and their dogs.
3 inveterate doggers, in Swafham and their uproarious adventures, don't tell their wives!
2 Hang about Stan!
The death sentence is brought back to the UK, this is the mad cap antics of HMP Swiftly-drop. Like the Office, with a d list celeb dispatched each week.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
After You've Gone
Weekend dad Jimmy offers to move back into the marital home to look after his two teenagers when his ex-wife volunteers to tend victims of a natural disaster in Africa. Unfortunately, Jimmy's patrician mother-in-law, Diana, views him as a walking, talking natural disaster so she virtually moves in to "help", which generally means undermining Jimmy whenever possible! With a smart-talking daughter, Molly, who thinks she's already a woman, and a son, Alex, who occasionally dresses a bit too much like one, just how much of a challenge can adapting to fatherhood on a daily basis be? Jimmy's ex-wife stays in Africa to tend the victims of a natural disaster in the second season leaving domestic calamities to continue at home as Jimmy and his mother-in-law Diana attempt to share both a roof and parental duties.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Paul W said:
Philadelphia the movie to sitcom series.
Quote: Charisma @ February 21, 2008, 6:47 PMAfter You've Gone
Weekend dad Jimmy offers to move back into the marital home to look after his two teenagers when his ex-wife volunteers to tend victims of a natural disaster in Africa. Unfortunately, Jimmy's patrician mother-in-law, Diana, views him as a walking, talking natural disaster so she virtually moves in to "help", which generally means undermining Jimmy whenever possible! With a smart-talking daughter, Molly, who thinks she's already a woman, and a son, Alex, who occasionally dresses a bit too much like one, just how much of a challenge can adapting to fatherhood on a daily basis be? Jimmy's ex-wife stays in Africa to tend the victims of a natural disaster in the second season leaving domestic calamities to continue at home as Jimmy and his mother-in-law Diana attempt to share both a roof and parental duties.
View original
I hope they never make a sitcom like that.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
The Office.
A fat office manager has a personality complex with a need to make people like him - but just ends up putting his foot in it every time.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"Apocolypse Now Then Now Then"
Jimmy Saville returns to our screens in a brand new "Viet-Com". US Special Forces have been sent in to find and assassinate General Saville because they believe he's gone insane.
You'll be "Vietting" your pants with laughter as Sir Jimmy attempts to hide from his pursuers without his gold jewellery jingle-jangling. Eurgh-eurgh-eurgh!
"Apocolypse Now Then Now Then"...
... because you love the smell of cigars in the morning.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 21, 2008, 7:00 PMThe Office.
A fat office manager has a personality complex with a need to make people like him - but just ends up putting his foot in it every time.
View original
Nope. I think that ones been done actually. Isn't that the one that Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant did?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Perry LOL write that sucker.
Next ironic answer will be punished by catapult.
Dads out of his tree.
A fundamentalist Christian discovers his mum actually boffed a monkey, and it's escaped from the Zoo. Watch out the vicars coming for tea, can he get dad back up his tree before the shit really hits the fan.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 21, 2008, 7:05 PM
Next ironic answer will be punished by catapult.
View original
sorry, boss.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Perry Nium @ February 21, 2008, 7:01 PM"Apocolypse Now Then Now Then"
Jimmy Saville returns to our screens in a brand new "Viet-Com". US Special Forces have been sent in to find and assassinate General Saville because they believe he's gone insane.
You'll be "Vietting" your pants with laughter as Sir Jimmy attempts to hide from his pursuers without his gold jewellery jingle-jangling. Eurgh-eurgh-eurgh!
"Apocolypse Now Then Now Then"...
... because you love the smell of cigars in the morning.
View original
ROFL
Quote: Charisma @ February 21, 2008, 7:03 PMNope. I think that ones been done actually. Isn't that the one that Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant did?
View original
I don't think that anyone would be stupid enough to make something so woefully unfunny.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
The Full English
The outrageously funny goings on in The Xenophobia Tea Rooms in Margate. It's run by 30-something Pru, played by Jade Goody. She has a winning way with customers and uncanny knack of putting her foot in it with hilarious consequences.
Pru and her helper, Sunita, get into a different scrape every week.
Episode 1 – “You come over ‘ere!...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 21, 2008, 7:12 PMThe Full English
The outrageously funny goings on in The Xenophobia Tea Rooms in Margate. It's run by 30-something Pru, played by Jade Goody. She has a winning way with customers and uncanny knack of putting her foot in it with hilarious consequences.
Pru and her helper, Sunita, get into a different scrape every week.
Episode 1 – “You come over ‘ere!...
View original
I honestly would love to see that.
Quote: Griff @ February 21, 2008, 7:14 PMDouble Entry
Enter the mad world of management accounting, where those crazy bean counters at Grenville & Barkworth are always trying to balance the books while training for their professional exams and working long nights as the financial year-end approaches. Contains scenes of auditing and graphic financial irregularity.
View original
With that title, I thought it was going to be about California's porn valley.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 21, 2008, 7:16 PMI honestly would love to see that.
View original
I'm on to it!!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Griff ironic entries only, that ones probably on BBC1 tonight.
Goldilocks and the 3 Bears,
A blond actress finds her self in a flatshare with Yogi, Poo, and Antonio Fargass.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Abba Dabba Doo
2 cave men 2 cave girls form an iconic pop group, can they beat their rivals Rocks-ette ?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
The Bear Necessities
A hilarious tale of a family of bears buying bread and milk.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Beautifully simple, but maybe better if they ran an all night convenience store?
It's not my tourettes you're a cunt.
Japesome laughs when Gordon Ramsey is diagnosed with tourettes and no one takes his swearing seriously again.
Cooking the books
Jamie Oliver, and Hugh Fernley Whittingsal open a firm of accountants.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Griff @ February 21, 2008, 7:31 PMHanging On The Telephone
Dark comedy about a call centre in Bridgend.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Hangin' Around
A tale of Welsh teenagers who are a real pain in the neck.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 21, 2008, 7:39 PM
View original
Seconded, there is a song or skit there for some one to write.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
An Elephant Never Forgets
Lisa Riley undergoes training to become a memory expert.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Charisma @ February 21, 2008, 7:41 PMAn Elephant Never Forgets
Lisa Riley undergoes training to become a memory expert.
View original
LOOL
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
British Sitcom Guide
A tale of sad losers with nothing better to do but waste time on pointless forum threads 
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
Quote: Tuumble @ February 21, 2008, 7:42 PMBritish Sitcom Guide
A tale of sad losers with nothing better to do but waste time on pointless forum threads
View original
If you need an actor to star in that...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Poo-roe
Jillian McKeith is a Scots Belgian detective, who solves genteel 1920s murders by examining people jobbies
Unhinged and crack head
Like Hinge and Brackett but with 2 violent crack addicts.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Tuumble @ February 21, 2008, 7:42 PMBritish Sitcom Guide
A tale of sad losers with nothing better to do but waste time on pointless forum threads
View original
Too unbelievable.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Which one?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Cpatain Corelli's Mandarin
An hilarious tale of an army officer and his small orange friend
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 21, 2008, 7:44 PMPoo-roe
Jillian McKeith is a Scots Belgian detective, who solves genteel 1920s murders by examining people jobbies
View original
Quote: sootyj @ February 21, 2008, 7:44 PMUnhinged and crack head
Like Hinge and Brackett but with 2 violent crack addicts.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Life Of Brine
The funny goings on in a jar of sea water
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 21, 2008, 7:48 PMLife Of Brine
The funny goings on in a jar of sea water
View original
Best one yet!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Life on Mars
we send the cast of When You're Gone to Mars they die like the bad un's did in Total Recall, for real.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Willie Wanker and the Cockless Factory
Self-love takes on a whole new twist as our Willie finds himself locked in a battery farm. He's in for an eggciting time!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Star Trek will here be a next generation?
Spoddy Trekies must try and have kids, with actual women.
episode 1
Girls the undiscoverd country
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Last of the Summer - Whine
Follow the exploits of a group of S A D sufferers
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Writer2K said:
Hold onto your sides as we follow the jovial mishaps of a bumbling Swedish billionaire who moves his family into a oh-so-typically English stately home. Coming soon to BBC1 “ To The Manor Bjorn”.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
The Holey Grail
The story of a faulty religious artefact.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Corporal Ryan demands his Privates keep their hair trimmed, in this hilarious sitcom based in an army's barber shop - (strictly no porn references).
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Top cats,
Officer Dibble is Scunthorpe's lead feral cat exterminator, watch him "top cats" with carbon monoxide
Quote: Charisma @ February 21, 2008, 7:57 PMShaving Ryan's Privates
Corporal Ryan demands his Privates keep their hair trimmed, in this hilarious sitcom based in an army's barber shop - (strictly no porn references).
View original
Could be a winner, could be a winner.
Isn't this a fab thread, for that boring couple of hours before Ashes to Ashes.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
None of these will ever beat Alan Partridge's suggestion for a TV programme called "Knowing M.E., Knowing You" - entertainment show involving M.E. sufferers. Pure genius.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Writer2K @ February 21, 2008, 7:56 PMHold onto your sides as we follow the jovial mishaps of a bumbling Swedish billionaire who moves his family into a oh-so-typically English stately home. Coming soon to BBC1 “ To The Manor Bjorn”.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"The Wild, Wild Wests"
Serial killer japes-a-plenty as Fred and Rose move in next door to the very posh Margot and Jeremy. Just like the previous tenants Tom and Barbara, Fred and Rose enjoy planting things in the back garden - although these aren't runner beans...they're human bein's!
"The Wild, Wild Wests"...
...so funny it's murder!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Again very very nice,
Bye GUM
The adventures of sweet, mischievous Yorkshire pensioners with incurable venereal disease, as they meet at the local GUM clinic. They can't keep away from Whora's batty.
n.b. just saw Scunthorpe is censored, another blow to that noble sea side resort.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Perry Nium @ February 21, 2008, 8:11 PM"The Wild, Wild Wests"
Serial killer japes-a-plenty as Fred and Rose move in next door to the very posh Margot and Jeremy. Just like the previous tenants Tom and Barbara, Fred and Rose enjoy planting things in the back garden - although these aren't runner beans...they're human bein's!
"The Wild, Wild Wests"...
...so funny it's murder!
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
I am Leg End
The hilarious tale of my left foot who has an affair with a sultry chiropidist.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 21, 2008, 8:17 PMAgain very very nice,
Bye GUM
The adventures of sweet, mischievous Yorkshire pensioners with incurable venereal disease, as they meet at the local GUM clinic. They can't keep away from Whora's batty.
n.b. just saw Scunthorpe is censored, another blow to that noble sea side resort.
View original
Only if you've got the language filter turned on.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
It's not a seaside resort
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"Schindler's Fist"
Comedy-Drama. Picks up the life of Oscar Schindler after the film ended and follows his descent into gay porn movies.
"Schindler's Pissed"
Comedy-Drama. Picks up the life of Oscar Schindler after the film ended and follows his descent into alcoholism.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Tony Soprano meets up with Don Corleone they form a humerous folk combo, and always wear thick weave cotton, trousers and jackets, whislt on the run from the Feds.
Flight of the Don's chords.
I thank you
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"Schindler's Wrist"
Comedy-Drama. Picks up the life of Oscar Schindler after the film ended and follows his descent into habitual wanking.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
"Schindler's Twist"
Horror, as his cock comes off in his hand.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"Schindler's Cyst"
Comedy-Drama. Picks up the life of Oscar Schindler after the film ended and follows his struggle with an anal carbuncle.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Scindlers twist, can he pesuade the Nazi's to switch the final solution for a dance off?
Mine Kampf ground, Hitler just wants to set up a cheery holiday tent park, whilst Himmler insists on using it for genocide. Barbara Windsor loses her bra, but we don't see her tits.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
"Schindler's Diss"
Oscar goes round dissrespectin' people.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"Schindler's List 2 - Electric Boogaloo" -
Hip Hop sequel with breakdancing.
(courtesy Kev Bishop)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Power point Pierrepoint
Executioner Pierrepoint gives corporate training, after losing his job as an executioner. How ever he always ends up hanging some one in a hilarious but bizarre advert.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
"Schindler's Missed!"
Oscar misses an open goal in the last minute of the FA Cup Final.
Sorry Perry - fink I hijacked your idea! 
I'll stop now
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, EllieJP said:
Schindler's Mist
A terrible mist descends upon the town and no one can see what's going on.
The End
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
The new adventures of poo bear.
Brian Blessed is a big hairy gay guy into scat play.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
I thnk that's it - there are no other 1-syllable words that end in "ist". Booo!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Bends
4 wacky and annoying new yorkers get caught on a submarine, and die horribly of oxygen narcosis
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
The new adventures of bear poo.
It's crap.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
The Way The Bookie Crumbles
About a delapidated Ladbrookes.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Scindlers wist, can Oscar stop playing cards long enough to save the Jews
Scindlers hissed, Oscar Schindler has to double as a martyr, and snake charmer
Schndler jist, the inarticulate her of the holocaust struggles to get his point across
Quote: ian_w @ February 21, 2008, 8:36 PMThe Way The Bookie Crumbles
About a delapidated Ladbrookes.
View original
Again it's too good, and to producable
The way the cookie crumbled, about the said fall from grace of the cookies monster.....
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
Quote: Tuumble @ February 21, 2008, 8:34 PMThe new adventures of bear poo.
It's crap.
View original
To improve structurally on that joke, perhaps:
The new adventures of bear poo.
Oh no, that idea's crap.
Maybe. That's just my view though...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Poo bear is crap, but Rupert the bear is a wanker
he just is in his fucking check, running around the daily express, what a scunthorpe.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
I think the worst idea would be a sitcom based on a carer for the terminaly ill. Or even the doctor that delivers the news.
I suppose you could make it very dark.
*Brings up word & starts to type first epy*
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Bad carer 1 9
Jen
Oh my God I can’ believe he died, I mean I know he was 93, but it’s still such a shock
Steve
I know in a care home like this, these things happen, I had the privilege to hear his last words. He shared his final message with me.
Jen
What did he say?
Steve
Arrgggghhhhhh
Jen
That’s just horrible, how could you.
Steve
Ok, joke in poor taste, what he actually said was. Don’t do it, I promise I won’t tell any one.
Jen
That’s it I’m putting in a complaint.
Steve
Could you please only I’m trying to get the sack, so I can go back on the dole
Any one want to see the sequel?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
Haha these are really funny. I especially liked the Apocalypse Now sitcom.
How about this:
Medomalacuphobia
Dave is scared of loosing his erection.... every day! With a hectic job, two kids and pet ferrite can Dave'keep it up'?! Find out Monday's at 10 on FOX.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Bad Carer 2
San
I’m sorry to hear about my father’s death, I mean 89 is a good old age.
Steve
We all loved him he was such a special man, he was always wise, rather than old, kind, and gentle
San
That’s good to hear, he was a good man.
Steve
A good man, and a very attractive man.
San
I beg your pardon.
Steve
Gorgeous man, and what an arse. Like two hard boiled eggs in a handkerchief.
San
How did he die?
Steve
Sat down on a mop to fast, with his trousers down.
San
That’s not funny I’m putting in a complaint.
Steve
Could you please I’m trying to get sacked, so I can go back on the dole.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
The Maths Party
All the different functions go to a party, you know sinx, cosx, lnx, they're all there. It's the worst idea for a sitcom though because the star, e^x, is feeling grumpy and when asked to come and integrate with the others, he just says 'it wont make any difference'.
Little joke for the Maths nerds out there...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Thats funny even though I don't understand it at all
Bye dee bye
Like hidee hi, but they kill the campers, and eat them
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
How Green was my Willy?
Follows the mishaps of everyday life at an inner-city STD clinic.
So good you'll want the to clap
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
It could have a rural follow up,
The green green arse of home.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Dr Hugh
A sitcom set in a sleepy Yorkshire village concerning the doings of a time-travelling doctor called Hugh
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Does it have a sex obsessed follow up, where his bisexual nurse driving around burning down small forests
torch wood?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Sundy Night at the London Palindrome
A story about a variety theatre that only has half a programme each performance as the headling acts never get to perform.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
The security guard.
Sitcom based inside a hut to the entrance of an industrial estate. Barrier takes on a life of its own, etc.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Ground Dog Day
A merry jape about a the goings on in a Korean restaurant.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 21, 2008, 9:52 PMGround Dog Day
A merry jape about a the goings on in a Korean restaurant.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 21, 2008, 9:44 PMDr Hugh
A sitcom set in a sleepy Yorkshire village concerning the doings of a time-travelling doctor called Hugh
View original
Took me a moment, but
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charisma said:
How have I never heard the word 'jape' before tonight?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Quote: Charisma @ February 21, 2008, 9:53 PMHow have I never heard the word 'jape' before tonight?
View original
Hey Charisma! It's an education this place!
Oh Doctor Bleaching
Set in a hair salon in the fifties
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Schindler's Dist.
Following the war, Schindler uses his experience of efficient goods transportation to establish a global logistics business.
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 21, 2008, 9:56 PMHey Charisma! It's an education this place!
Oh Doctor Bleaching
Set in a hair salon in the fifties
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Frankie Rage said:
Executive type dad, mumsy type mum, two trendy teenagers, smaller know it all child, big rambling house in South West London, au pair, annoying neighbour, etc.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Catapault being readied, ironic references to existing shows will be catapulted!
Come on chaps and chapess's were near the 100, which I'm sure should mean something.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Lead Baloney
Follows the mishaps of an incompetent chef working in an American diner
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Ramseys bitchin' nightmares,
Gordon Ramsey helps pimps on the slide, get the hoes in order, and avoid the pigs.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Masterjeff
A fly on the wall mocumentary about a group of amateur guys called Jeffrey who battle it out to see which will be the supreme champion
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, puffinpol said:
Mad about the House
Hilarious antics of a group of outcasts with a variety of mental disorders and the fun the staff have trying to restrain them
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Gran's Stand
A funny tale about an 83 year old who refuses to vacate her house and allow developers to build a new flats
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Sexy Box.
The misadventures of a necrophiliac undertaker.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Mount A Python
Comedy game show where Japanese men try and figure out how to shag a snake against the clock.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Land of Dopes and Tories
A weekly laughfest concerning the running of a Conservative Party constituency office.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
All preachers great and small,
A very fat priest, lives with a midget priest, they're boyfriend the vet fists them both.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Pens and Noodles
Experimental cookery show
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Wham Bam Thank You Sam
An adult version of the popular kiddies fireman show
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
You do have to be mad to live here,
A wacky romp through a high security psychiatric unit,
is this number 100 do I win a submarine?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, puffinpol said:
Quote: Tuumble @ February 21, 2008, 10:13 PMMount A Python
Comedy game show where Japanese men try and figure out how to shag a snake against the clock.
View original
Excellent!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Jack Massey said:
Frisky Fields: We've had the awful Fresh Fields and the awful French Fields, so why don't William and Hester leave the Surburbon Life, stop calling each other darling, become swingers and you have Frisky Fields.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
One Hundred!
A budget version of The 400
EDIT
Damn too late now it kept tagging this onto 99 Pah!!!!!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
http://www.7secondsoflove.com/fans/submarine/
I earned it!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 21, 2008, 10:18 PMWham Bam Thank You Sam
An adult version of the popular kiddies fireman show
View original
For once it's not Sam sliding down the fireman's pole.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2627619247756759297
sams pretty dodgesome already
Go Fred West
Sitcom about obscure regional news program. Fred meets West country eccentrics, and farmers, then kills them burys them under their patio.
Before hanging himself after sniffing his wifes burnt knickers
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"BRAVEARSE"
Around about the same time that William Wallace was battling for his countrymen, a lesser-known Scottish hero, Willy Hollis, was battling for his brethren too - his homosexual brethren. We join them on the battlefield as Willy gives a rousing speech in preparation for combat with those that would oppose medievel Scottish gay rights.
WILLY:
Gay sons of Scotland. I am Willy Hollis!
MOB MEMBER:
Rubbish! I've heard Willy Hollis is hung like a Highland Stag and has a handlebar moustache as thick as a hedgerow!
WILLY:
I AM Willy Hollis! And I see a whole army of my limp-wristed countrymen in defiance of gay-bashing tyranny. You've come to fight as free whoopsies, and free whoopsies you are! They may take our lives - but they'll never take our hairspray!!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
I'm guessing that's funny if you've seen Braveheart.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 21, 2008, 11:28 PMI'm guessing that's funny if you've seen Braveheart.
View original
Oh yeah...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
The passion of the heist
A Tarrantino esque thriller sit com about priests who carry out armed robberies in drag, probably
Dogger bank
In a fishing village with strong winds, all the cashiers in the local bank like going dogging. Except they just watch the chief cashier screwing rock salmon in his mondeo, will he catch on?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
I was going to put the worse sitcom idea i could think of here but the more I thought about it the more genius it was so erm how about er a sitcom based on the WI e.g. that piece of poo jame and jeruseleum
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Catapult is getting cranked almost all the way.
Ham and Jew rue Salam
A group of Jewish WIs breed pigs purely to make ham, to throw at friendly Muslims.
I am the punda-mentalist
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
We don't eat pigs,
You don't eat pigs,
It seems it's been that way forever.
So if we don't eat pigs,
And you don't eat pigs,
Why not, not eat pigs together?
There's your peace anthem for Palestine.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 21, 2008, 11:49 PM
We don't eat pigs,
You don't eat pigs,
It seems it's been that way forever.
So if we don't eat pigs,
And you don't eat pigs,
Why not, not eat pigs together?
There's your peace anthem for Palestine.
View original
But they would still have the lobster bomb
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Fuck pigs, where do they get off thinking they're so special.
God made them out of bacon and sausage end of
The Incredible Sulk
David Banner after getting exposed to Gamma radiation if upset, turns green, and goes off to his bedroom till some one apologises for something
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Yeehaa! I'm going to fuck me a pig!
Just had to get that off me chest
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Just make sure you eat it afterwards, or it's a waste.
Garfield the twat.
A fat ginger loser who eats lasagna all day long, he lives with a deluded Bridget Jones type who thinks he's a cat, he shits in a litter box, she contmeplates getting him spayed.
you know that one might work?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: ian_w @ February 21, 2008, 11:51 PM
But they would still have the lobster bomb
View original
Listen to the peace anthem.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Muslims can still eat shellfish, it's thier secret weapon against up Red Sea Pedestrians, where as you our, are secret weapon
Harry Botter
A teenage Wizard grows up and finds Hermione all yucky
He catches little Ron Weazily, and makes him show him his wizard sleave, whilst he gets out his wand.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 22, 2008, 12:07 AMMuslims can still eat shellfish, it's thier secret weapon against up Red Sea Pedestrians
View original
That was the joke
Quote: Aaron @ February 22, 2008, 12:05 AM
View original
I shared a house with some Muslims in my last year at uni I wish I'd had this back then
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Laden Bin
Comedy about an Afghan bloke in a beard hiding in a refuse recepticle.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Is it racist to say that muslims are good at orienteering Wheres Jake when you need him?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Al gay dar
A gay terrorist organisation, with great fashion sense, but they can't fight because then they'd have clash
they flood the tube with suicide bummers
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: ian_w @ February 22, 2008, 12:12 AMI shared a house with some Muslims in my last year at uni I wish I'd had this back then
View original
Now THAT is a sitcom!
Quote: sootyj @ February 22, 2008, 12:17 AMAl gay dar
A gay terrorist organisation, with great fashion sense, but they can't fight because then they'd have clash
they flood the tube with suicide bummers
View original
ROFL
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
The national punt
The BNP open a betting shop, but as they won't take any bets backing teams with black players, they lose loads of money, and then die horribly being eaten by enraged baboon. I hate the BNP.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Hah.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
The Orrifice.
All about Charley's daily grind.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Hahah
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Captain Corelli's banjo string
A sensitive 40 part sitcom, about war, love, Greece, and the long term effects of chronic masturbation.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Andrew Smith said:
As time goes bi
Sitcom spin off from doctor who. The doctor starts cruising the gay scene for his next assistant
It's Saint Half Pot Mum
Woman vicar afflicted with dwarfism starts dealing cannabis to her son's friends
One flute in the grave
Sitcom following a serial killer who preys on orchestra members
2.4 children
Sitcom following forestic officers as they uncover children's graves
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
Quote: Andrew Smith @ February 22, 2008, 2:47 AM2.4 children
Sitcom following forestic officers as they uncover children's graves
View original
Or just 2 children & a 1/4 child.
I have never understood this 2.4 & shit.
Who worked that one out. Were they pissed. Did they have a foetus in a garage.
Hurts my brain it does!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
The Liver Birds
The funny goings on in the lives of two girls who work in an offal processing factory
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Quote: Andrew Smith @ February 22, 2008, 2:47 AMAs time goes bi
Sitcom spin off from doctor who. The doctor starts cruising the gay scene for his next assistant
It's Saint Half Pot Mum
Woman vicar afflicted with dwarfism starts dealing cannabis to her son's friends
One flute in the grave
Sitcom following a serial killer who preys on orchestra members
2.4 children
Sitcom following forestic officers as they uncover children's graves
View original
Very nice
The unlikely lads
Two very effeminate men, with long hair, and pronounced man boobs get mistaken for girls on a regular basis.
Hashes to hashes
Gordon Ramsey gets knocked on the head by an enraged restaunter and wakes in a 1980s greasy spoon, where the only meal he is allowed to prepare is corned beef hash.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
The Lifer Birds
An amusing comedy set in a womens' prison
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Man about the grouse
A cheeky chappy moves in with 2 young independent women, only to find out their really posh, and have merely invited him so they can hunt him with games birds, using shot guns
Captain call me Dave man
A hateful Tory leader with a shit eating grin and boyish smile, takes time out to solve crimes with sexy Charlies Angel Clones, whislt dressed as a big hairy testicle.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Andrew Smith @ February 22, 2008, 2:47 AMAs time goes bi
Sitcom spin off from doctor who. The doctor starts cruising the gay scene for his next assistant
It's Saint Half Pot Mum
Woman vicar afflicted with dwarfism starts dealing cannabis to her son's friends
One flute in the grave
Sitcom following a serial killer who preys on orchestra members
2.4 children
Sitcom following forestic officers as they uncover children's graves
View original
- Welcome to the site! Quote: Charley @ February 22, 2008, 3:20 AMOr just 2 children & a 1/4 child.
I have never understood this 2.4 & shit.
Who worked that one out. Were they pissed. Did they have a foetus in a garage.
Hurts my brain it does!
View original
Me too! Sounds a bit messy really, doesn't it?
Quote: sootyj @ February 22, 2008, 7:55 AMHashes to hashes
Gordon Ramsey gets knocked on the head by an enraged restaunter and wakes in a 1980s greasy spoon, where the only meal he is allowed to prepare is corned beef hash.
View original
Now that is just genius.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Andrew Smith said:
Quote: Charley @ February 22, 2008, 3:20 AMOr just 2 children & a 1/4 child.
I have never understood this 2.4 & shit.
Who worked that one out. Were they pissed. Did they have a foetus in a garage.
Hurts my brain it does!
View original
Well I don't claim to know much about it but a guy in the pub said the 2.4 children comes from American anthropologist George Peter Murdock in his 1949 paper entitled Social Structure where he focused on family and kinship organization over a wide range of societies. His paper introduced the idea that the ideal family is the nuclear family mum dad and two point four children.
Society accepts the nuclear family as the norm as most families do begin as a nuclear family and then evolve into another type of family, traditionally when Murdock was writing in the 1940’s it was the one which was seen to be the most acceptable. It was seen to be the most economically, financially, emotionally and reproductively stable, the media portrayed typical roles which are found in the nuclear family.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, chipolata said:
The first sitcom I ever sent to Radio 4 was about a couple whose kid had been brutally murdered and became C-list celebrities off the back of it. Looking back, it was a terrible idea and didn't stand a cat in hells chance of getting anywhere (although I think Gervais and Merchant must have read it, and stole it for that bit in the Extras Xmas special when the murdered kids mom appears on Celebrity Big Brother),
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Skippy the Buish tourettes kangaroo
Whats up Skip?
Shit Hairy Bollocks Fannies
Jimmies trapped in a well?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Quote: Andrew Smith @ February 22, 2008, 2:47 AM
2.4 children
Sitcom following forestic officers as they uncover children's graves
View original
Whenever I hear about child murder I always think of that Moby song. Damn you Chris Carter!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
To the manor porn,
Penelope Keith makes grunt movies, after losing her fortune
Peter Bowles is the dashing fluffer
Das Booty
In a desperate attempt to win WW2 Hitler turns a U boat into a deadly gay disco boat, will they torpedo Churchill from behind?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 22, 2008, 4:37 PMDas Booty
In a desperate attempt to win WW2 Hitler turns a U boat into a deadly gay disco boat, will they torpedo Churchill from behind?
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Awl in the family
A sitcom about a load of Cobblers. Probably a shoe in at C5
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Thunder turds,
From the hidden island base, in London's sewer the Thunder turds, fly around the world rescuing people, and bring fecal justice to all.
Doctor Jew
A Jewish Dr flys through time, bringing jsutice, and fighting antisemitism, played by Woody Allen, Sarah Silverman as a companion.
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 22, 2008, 6:49 PMAwl in the family
A sitcom about a load of Cobblers. Probably a shoe in at C5
View original
Very very nice
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Gangles Gaugles and Geads
Follows the trials and tribulations of the UK's worst ventriloquist
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
To be frank Anne,
The wacky adventures of a loft full of Jews in hiding in German occupied Amsterdam
like Friends but no one gets to go to a coffee shop,
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Fiends
A show about a group of evil friends
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Joey Deacon 90
Joey hops in big rat, to become UK's greatest spastic superhero, throws shoes with deadly accuracy
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
The Sarsons
A cartoon based sitcom about a vinegar factory
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 22, 2008, 6:55 PMTo be frank Anne,
The wacky adventures of a loft full of Jews in hiding in German occupied Amsterdam
like Friends but no one gets to go to a coffee shop,
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Plankety-Plank
A tale of a fun-loving pirate who never grew up
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Pulp fiction
A sitcom about the people who work in a paper reclamation facotry, when not killing people and injecting heroin
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
The Song Remains the Same
A mocu-rocumentary about the career of Status Quo
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
On the hearses
A wacky 70s style sitcom about a bunch of necrophiliacs working in a funeral parlour. Watch out Wakey the evil chief mourner doesn't catch you out! Stars Robert Asquith and Tony Blairs father in law.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Hahah, brilliant.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Doctor is a louse
It's another wacky at S Boils hospital on the River Cock, and there's a new dr he's a pubic louse Dr Ian Festin . Can he over come prejudice, will professor Collin E Ants get him, will he win the hand of nurse Kat R Piller?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 22, 2008, 7:00 PMThe Sarsons
A cartoon based sitcom about a vinegar factory
View original
That made me do a laugh.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Hats all folks
Billy Silly an ex vaudeville comic runs a shop that only sells hats.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Love Thy Enslaver
A hilarious comedy about an escaped black slave who accidentally moves in next door to his old master, resulting in some farcical and side splitting antics.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Very nice, very good.
Grange swill,
It's just like any normal comp, exept all the pupils are pigs,
Hammo gets hooked on pig feed, and will be in trouble with Baxter Bacon the headmaster.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
One Foot In A Cave
20 part series about a man who is about to step into a cave when he realises he's to scared to go all the way in.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Ha!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"To The Manor Porn"
Penelope Keith and Peter Bowles return to our screens in a brand new, updated and hilarious version of the eighties classic.
Audrey fforbes-Hamilton has fallen on hard times, and turns to Richard DeVere for help. He suggests filming her in a little erotic love-play with a female friend with a view to selling the film on the internet, but things get out of hand and before they know it, '2 Girls 1 Crystal Cut Champagne Flute' is born.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Pup Friction
Dark comedy of RSPCA inspectors being aroused by rubbing themselves up against small dogs.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Quote: ian_w @ February 22, 2008, 7:31 PMLove Thy Enslaver
A hilarious comedy about an escaped black slave who accidentally moves in next door to his old master, resulting in some farcical and side splitting antics.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: Perry Nium @ February 22, 2008, 8:07 PM"To The Manor Porn"
Penelope Keith and Peter Bowles return to our screens in a brand new, updated and hilarious version of the eighties classic.
Audrey fforbes-Hamilton has fallen on hard times, and turns to Richard DeVere for help. He suggests filming her in a little erotic love-play with a female friend with a view to selling the film on the internet, but things get out of hand and before they know it, '2 Girls 1 Crystal Cut Champagne Flute' is born.
View original
Didn't that actually happen?
I think there are so many brilliant ones here that Aaron should compile them into a Christmas book.
The site would make a fortune.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
The littlest homo
Cute scruffy homosexual travels from place to place sorting peoples problems
Night Cider
Michael Knite has lost his license after getting pissed, and must now fight crime in a shopping trolley whilst drinking cider. Each week he chases the villains dwon hill whislt tlaking to a none existent Englsih man. His arch enemy is the morrisons security guard who wants the trolley back, and the pound coin.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Are you drunk? You're getting all your letters mixed up!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Don't be mean, he's got letteral problems.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Quite possibly.
Holby shitty
In the latest episode of this joyless saga, we meet the team at Holbys last remaining public toilet, faced with closure by an uncaring Labour government.
Will probably also include
Holby poo
With the elite team of Holbys dog mess enforcerment officers
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 12:33 AM
Don't be mean, he's got letteral problems.
View original
Wasn't being mean! Perplexed!
Quote: sootyj @ February 23, 2008, 12:37 AMQuite possibly.
Holby shitty
In the latest episode of this joyless saga, we meet the team at Holbys last remaining public toilet, faced with closure by an uncaring Labour government.
Will probably also include
Holby poo
With the elite team of Holbys dog mess enforcerment officers
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Gavin said:
"Aaron in the year 6000"
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
A head in a jar, Futurama stylee, correcting grammar and spelling?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Sex and the pity
4 average New York women, one of whom looks like she has a shoe for a face, one of whose really old, and red haired who looks hot in an odd way. Have pity sex with the geeky cast of Robot Wars.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
I've been in the audience on Robot Wars! You could even see me on TV when it was broadcast. It was immense.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Put it on youtube!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
No idea where the tape is anymore.
Not the only time I've been on TV either!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Question Time?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Robot whores
Geeks build robots, not to fight, but to give them the one thing they actually want.
Bongs of haze
The cast of Songs of praise in a Brixton basement, with several bongs, sensimila, and guitars. Singing "he's got the whole world in his hands", and getting freaked out. Because are his hand like huge, or are we like tiny ?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 1:00 AMQuestion Time?
View original
I'd forgotten about that...
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
I like to imagine you were on Blue Peter too, as a child expert on trains.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Well, I was mentioned on Blue Peter once!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
What did they saaaay?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
"If you're not careful you'll end up like this".
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: David Chapman @ February 23, 2008, 1:12 AM"If you're not careful you'll end up like this".
View original
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 1:08 AMWhat did they saaaay?
View original
It was just a thank you thing 'cos I did a small ikkle bring & buy sale thingy one year. For leprosy, if I remember rightly! Didn't make much, but sent them in a couple of photos which they pinned up on their little board.
Soo. Hm. Including all of that, I can think of 5 times I've actually knowingly APPEARED on TV, and three times I've been mentioned.
(Actually, probably a few more times mentioned, what with birthdays back in the day of The Children's Channel on satellite.)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
[quote name="Aaron" post="107173" date="February 23, 2008, 1:20 AM
It was just a thank you thing 'cos I did a small ikkle bring & buy sale thingy one year. For leprosy, if I remember rightly! Didn't make much, but sent them in a couple of photos which they pinned up on their little board.
[/quote]
Does leprosy need any encouragement?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
A bring and buy sale!
Aaron, you rock.
Do they still do them on there?
You know, all this Blue Peter talk is getting me aroused.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 1:25 AMA bring and buy sale!
Aaron, you rock.
View original
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 1:25 AMDo they still do them on there?
View original
I'm not sure. I think that they do. But who knows what the health & safety types have ordained.
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 1:25 AMYou know, all this Blue Peter talk is getting me aroused.
View original
Oh reeeeally? Would you like to see my Tracy Island? Rawr.
(I even used my own PVA glue, etc etc.)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Yes please.
They should be making Easter cards soon!
Am hoping for Gethin to fiddle about with glitter and cotton wool.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
As he says "Gethin there".
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: zooo @ February 23, 2008, 1:31 AMThey should be making Easter cards soon!
Am hoping for Gethin to fiddle about with glitter and cotton wool.
View original
I make my own cards. In fact, unless I really don't have time or have looooads to send, I don't really buy ones anymore. Glitter, coloured pens, paper, scissors and glue.
Quote: David Chapman @ February 23, 2008, 1:33 AMAs he says "Gethin there".
View original
and
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
I'd love to Gethin there.
There being Gethin's lovely Welsh pants, I assume?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Don't you want to save all of your energy for bagging you a Doctor?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
Yes.
But... I've got to have a reserve. A second, in case *gulp* something happens to The Doctor. (ie, I use him all up.)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
But he can re-generate. Or you could get in the Tardis and keep going back to the beginning.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Yeah, doesn't quite work like that though, 'cos he might regenerate as a woman, or as a really weird ugly man (me ), and the Tardis can never go to the same place twice, I don't think?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Man in the Mirror
Michael Jackson bonged off his mong on prescription meds, keeps seeing himself in his mirror and grassing himself up to social services.
Not so gentle Ben
He gets rabies, he gets angry, he eats Will Nelson alive.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 23, 2008, 2:23 AMhe might regenerate as a woman
View original
Mmmmm, liking where this is going...
Quote:or as a really weird ugly man (me
I doubt this would be a problem. Zooo would probably do you from behind with a strap-on and pretend she's Barrowman.
Quote:and the Tardis can never go to the same place twice, I don't think?
Never heard that one! Ok, so keep moving around 5 meters at a time?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Top Queer
Jeremy Clarkson and Julian Clary rate the fastest, and most powerful gay men in England. Whilst making hilariously ironic right wing comments.
Stars in a medium priced arse, is best not thought about.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 23, 2008, 1:52 PMTop Queer
Jeremy Clarkson and Julian Clary rate the fastest, and most powerful gay men in England. Whilst making hilariously ironic right wing comments.
Stars in a medium priced arse, is best not thought about.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
633 Squad On
The antics at a football club where the manager fails to grasp the fundementals of the game.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
XXX
Former lumberjacks pissed on Aussie lager do an adult themed show.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 23, 2008, 1:52 PMTop Queer
Jeremy Clarkson and Julian Clary rate the fastest, and most powerful gay men in England. Whilst making hilariously ironic right wing comments.
Stars in a medium priced arse, is best not thought about.
View original
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 23, 2008, 2:14 PM633 Squad On
The antics at a football club where the manager fails to grasp the fundementals of the game.
View original
Actually that sounds like a really good idea for a script. I like it!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Thatch of the day.
A sitcom about the maker of wigs for football managers
Cannibal hospital
Rolf Harris helps Jeffrey Dahma, and Armond Wiess run a small RSPCA hopsital. They kill and eat him, after defiling his corpse.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 23, 2008, 2:18 PM
Cannibal hospital
Rolf Harris helps Jeffrey Dahma, and Armond Wiess run a small RSPCA hopsital. They kill and eat him, after defiling his corpse.
View original
That is a really bad script idea. That's gotta go up there in the tops.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Hadaway & Shite
A new comedy police drama based in Newcastle. Tommy Hadaway is a hard-nosed no nonsense detective and his sidekick, Sammy Shite, is always getting them in trouble with their Chief-super
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Nice, very nice.
Mime Gentlemen please
Like Time Gentlemen please
only silent
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 23, 2008, 2:20 PMHadaway & Shite
A new comedy police drama based in Newcastle. Tommy Hadaway is a hard-nosed no nonsense detective and his sidekick, Sammy Shite, is always getting them in trouble with their Chief-super
View original
look forward to the custody shite.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
E-Spenders
Set in a virtual online accounts office. Has lots of virtual miserable people all being miserable and making each other miserable too.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Birds of Leather
Like Birds of a Feather but no make up budget
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Terry & Prunes
The exploits of a hapless constipated businessman
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
Dead Sea Nesbitt
A Scotchmans attempt of settling a pub bet on whether shite floats.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Like that,
Dad's barmy
A unit of aged mentally ill men, defend Clackton from an imaginary German invader.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Nice one,
Bridge on the River Tyne
The doings of a bungee events organiser bast in Newcastle
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Razor
Dr Frazer Crane is replaced by Dr Hannibal Lecter, he kills and eats the whole cast. After stuffing Niles with that bloody dog.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
Early whores
sitcom set in prehistoric times where caveladies of the night ply their trade from their local.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
And thats tragic
Paul Daniels loses everything, and gets sent to prison, where he is driven to suicide, by a life long murderer wiping his arse on his wig
It's a knock up,
Various ugly members of the royal family try and get some munters pregnant, first one to sell tier story to the Sun wins.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
Not bad sooty.
Can you smell what it is yet.
Rolf Harris (blindfolded this time) grades different farts according to their putridness ranging from stale egg to human embodiment of a slurry tanker.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Very nice
Dr Quimm medicine woman
The adventures of a frontier whore, with a magically healing fanny
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
ROFL
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Nigel Kelly said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 23, 2008, 3:03 PMVery nice
Dr Quimm medicine woman
The adventures of a frontier whore, with a magically healing fanny
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Can you see what it is yet.
Rolfe Harris has to lie beneath a giant toilet, into which c list list celebs poo. If he can guess what they had for breakfast, he can get out before getting splattered in the face.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Home is where my Missus is
An un-PC seventies style middle class show about a go-getting business man who expects his wife to cook, clean and throw dinner parties for his boss.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 23, 2008, 6:07 PMHome is where my Missus is
An un-PC seventies style middle class show about a go-getting business man who expects his wife to cook, clean and throw dinner parties for his boss.
View original
What's so funny about that?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
How about a sitcom about some weally weally old geezer, that just wont die.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
Besmirched
A fantasy sitcom about a witch who is continually tarnishing peoples' reputations
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Charley @ February 23, 2008, 6:20 PMHow about a sitcom about some weally weally old geezer, that just wont die.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: Charley @ February 23, 2008, 6:20 PMHow about a sitcom about some weally weally old geezer, that just wont die.
View original
Or some tart who just talks about sex all the time - but that' all she does - talk.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Vincent's Cough Van
Comedy about an Dutch ambulance driver
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
The Paedophile Ring
Follow the hilarious adventures of Billy Big Balls, Robert 'The Clown' Horseyman and Tarquin Rodderick III as they try to hustle, con and blag their way into a child's trousers.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Gavin said:
HAHAHA!!!!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Is that like, The Lord of the Rings, but with a new, darker twist?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 23, 2008, 9:04 PMIs that like, The Lord of the Rings, but with a new, darker twist?
View original
Yep, i've replace the hobbits with children
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Parsley Sage Rosemary and crime
Parsley the lion. Rosemary the gardener, and Rowan Williams fight whimsical crime in the afternoon Sunday slot.
Can't cook will fook
Tyneside slappers refuse to cook Ainsley Harriott and offer him sordide favours instead, he cries and asks for his mummy.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Perry Nium said:
"Ever Increasing Circles"
A welcome return to the screen for Richard Briers, who now plays a screaming homosexual who likes to have progressively larger and larger objects inserted into his impressively-stretched anus. (Channel 5)
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Most impressed again
One man and his log
Out of work welsh shepherds, and inbreds, poo in a urinal and then try to move the jobby to the end with widdle, whislt whistling.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Quote: Perry Nium @ February 23, 2008, 9:28 PM"Ever Increasing Circles"
A welcome return to the screen for Richard Briers, who now plays a screaming homosexual who likes to have progressively larger and larger objects inserted into his impressively-stretched anus. (Channel 5)
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Father Dead
Zombie jokes, and pokes at Catholic hypocrisy.
The SHIT crowd
amusing japes about the cleaners at a large company
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 23, 2008, 9:22 PMParsley Sage Rosemary and crime
Parsley the lion. Rosemary the gardener, and Rowan Williams fight whimsical crime in the afternoon Sunday slot.
View original
That sounds not just amazing, but AMA|ZING.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 23, 2008, 10:02 PMThat sounds not just amazing, but AMA|ZING.
View original
I don't get that
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Neither do I really. I just hit two keys on the keyboard at the same time, and thought it looked quite cool.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ian_w said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 23, 2008, 10:44 PMNeither do I really. I just hit two keys on the keyboard at the same time, and thought it looked quite cool.
View original
Now you come to mention it, it really does!!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Quote: Aaron @ February 23, 2008, 10:44 PMNeither do I really. I just hit two keys on the keyboard at the same time, and thought it looked quite cool.
View original
Thats how Google started
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
The Gay Team
An elite team of interior designers, escape from a maximun security public toilet. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, if you don't feel attracted to girls. Then maybe you should call the Gay Team?
Dyker Grove
A Newcastle adventure playground, strictly for lesbians only.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
From me too Poo,
Barry Chuckle kills, and eats his brother, and then poos him out.
Hooray for cheap tawdry, smut !
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Blenkinsop said:
The Maeve Binchy Code
A sitcom about a writer who is hiding a terrible secret
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 24, 2008, 1:52 PMThe Maeve Binchy Code
A sitcom about a writer who is hiding a terrible secret
View original
Or a scifi film, starring Keanu Reeves & some blonde, called The 'FAKETITS'!
A blonde who gets alien silly cones. They grow & grow until they burst. BANG!!!!
Or a sitcom about an obsessed wanker, Called 'The Glob'!
He saves it all up & it becomes this giant ball that tries to squish everyone in its path.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Er Charley is that aimed at me?
I demand the right to only be insulted with 3 adjectives.
So obsessive, wanker, with delusions of grandeur.
Beadles not about
What fresh malarkey, will Jeremy try on the unsuspecting maggots eating his decaying carcas?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Charley said:
Quote: sootyj @ February 24, 2008, 2:12 PMEr Charley is that aimed at me?
I demand the right to only be insulted with 3 adjectives.
So obsessive, wanker, with delusions of grandeur.
Beadles not about
What fresh malarkey, will Jeremy try on the unsuspecting maggots eating his decaying carcas?
View original
No not at all
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
TV Dinners
Hugh Fernley Whittingsall, and gay cannibal serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer kill, cook and eat tranvestite performers from across London. Danny La Rue guest stars as an ouerderve of over cooked ham.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Flash Gordon Brown
Can GB save the world from evil Ming the merciless Cmapbell. Probably stars David Cameron as some random gobshite.
Lord of the Mings
Ming Campbell and Ming the Merciless, must compete too see who can identify where on Kerry Katona various bad smells come from.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Well Tumble I believe this is the Thread you were looking for.
Up the Elephant round the Arsehole
Vile standup Jim Nick Nick Davidson, in a light hearted sitcom, about serial animal abuse.
Knite Cider
Michael Knite, in an ongoing battle with alcohol abuse. Has a talking shopping trolley called Shitt 2000, he carries all his empty cans for recycling in.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
Danka Soots!
Can a Mod (or a skinhead - don't really mind) decant my alternative sitcom ideas thread and pour into this receptical?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
You could just cut and paste, I guess.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
The Vicar of Dudley.
Lenny Henry becomes the new vicar of a racist country parish with hilarious consequences
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Queer as Volk
A show about young happening gay guys, their, lifes, and loves. Hanging out in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany.
Nappy Days
The Happy Day Gang meet up 30 years on. Except they all have severe IBS and have to wear adult nappies.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ContainsNuts said:
Vivian Vyle
A parody of Jermemy Kyle's talk show, but with unfunny story lines.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Oi no referencing actual TV shows, with out any pun or satire!
Jeremy Piles
A smug, unpleasant man interviews overly fertile scum. Whilst being unable to sit on the floor of his set, thanks to his huge bum grapes.
Jamies Olivers Cruel Dinners
Jamie turns around unhealthy school kids meals. By serving them their pets, and some times siblings, in shepherds pies.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, zooo said:
So we don't miss Tuumble's pearls of wisdom in the now defunct duplicate thread :
Quote: Tuumble @ March 19, 2008, 3:53 PMI'm sure we had a thread for this but I can't find it. I have two more to add so I'll post them here:
"Dad's Armless"
Family sitcom where the father comes home from the factory having had his arms ripped off in an industrial accident.
"The WAG Trade"
Saucy sitcom where Premiershit footballers sell their wives to middle eastern oil tycoons for great big wads of cash.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Ramsys Acid flashback nightmares
Gordon takes some very bad brown acid. Then goes to tell chefs off, before curling up in a ball, and crying, because the knives scare him.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Chapman said:
Full Nelson - some old bloke sits at his PC wasting time!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Steptoe and Hun
An elderly rag and bone man, taunts and humiliates, the younger rag and bone man. Who happens to be Attila warlord of all Germany, and scourge of the Roman empire.
The Wright Snuff
Stephen Wright presents a topical news, and current affair shops. Whilst popping out to industrial estates, to cure his stress.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tuumble said:
"Upon All Fours"
Comedy shagging with a stuttering shopkeeper and a buxom district nurse.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Soggy Biscuit
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Andrew M Bedell said:
Two Jags and the blind man.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
That's good, kinda odd couple with Blunkett, and Prescott?
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Andrew M Bedell said:
Quote: sootyj @ March 20, 2008, 10:44 AMThat's good, kinda odd couple with Blunkett, and Prescott?
View original
Yea, and Prescot putting his foot in it as usual would tell Blunket, "Watch it. Are you blind or summat?"
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Reckon he end up shagging Blunkett's dog.
The pie at night,
Patrick Moore gazes through a Gregg's shop window, with a telescope, at night.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Bad dog said:
Actually, most of these ideas sound quite good. Originality, and risk-taking are things you don't often see in modern tv sitcoms. The worst idea for a sitcom must be about the domestic life of a modern family/bunch of flatsharing 20 somethings, as written by people with no experience of anything other than shagging or drinking. In other words, nearly every damn show being made in the UK.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
One man and his Zog
Like one man and his dog, but this time the shepherd's have to command General Zod evil lord of the Forbidden Zone to round up sheep.
A later of spin off, involves Nazis, and Klansmen trying to persuade the Zionist Occupational Gouvernment to move their sheep.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, billwill said:
Quote: Tuumble @ February 21, 2008, 7:39 PMHangin' Around
A tale of Welsh teenagers who are a real pain in the neck.
View original
It's been done as a film called "A Way of Life" written and directed by my lovely customer Amma Ashante of Tantrum Films Ltd.
http://www.tantrumfilms.co.uk/awayoflife/main.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/4007349.stm
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Paul W said:
Quote: ajp29 @ March 20, 2008, 1:06 AMSoggy Biscuit
View original
Quote: billwill @ March 21, 2008, 7:02 PMIt's been done as a film called "A Way of Life" written and directed by my lovely customer Amma Ashante of Tantrum Films Ltd.
http://www.tantrumfilms.co.uk/awayoflife/main.html
View original
Better not show her this thread then
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, billwill said:
Quote: sootyj @ March 19, 2008, 4:49 PMYou could just cut and paste, I guess.
View original
Cut and Paste
The Life & Loves of two wall paper hangers.
"Wobbly Cutt and Sticky Paste"
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Tim Walker said:
'Meet And Two Veg'...
A zany, sideways look at life as butcher Keith Meet (Jasper Carrott) struggles with life as a single Dad to severely mentally and physically disabled twin sons. And look out for special guest star (Helen Lederer) playing the family's case worker, Mrs Gravy.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Fantastic
Fizzion CHIPs
Number 5 from Short Circuit, and Punch Poncherella fight crime, in a homo-erotic manner in 70s California.
Jizzbit
Paul Daniels
Polishes his wand, and his little bald head to perform magic tricks.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: Tim Walker @ March 22, 2008, 10:31 AMA zany, sideways look at life as butcher Keith Meet (Jasper Carrott) struggles with life as a single Dad
View original
I'd like to see that actually!
Quote: sootyj @ March 22, 2008, 10:46 AMFizzion CHIPs
Number 5 from Short Circuit, and Punch Poncherella fight crime, in a homo-erotic manner in 70s California.
View original
Johnny Five really is alive!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, David Bussell said:
I always wanted to write a sit-com called Naked Jane, where the lead is inexplicably nude.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Man can not live on Bread alone
A harrowing new version of 1984, where Winston SMith is driven insane. By being forced to watch nothing but gritty Carla Lane sitcoms.
Well I'll goto the top stairs.
Stephen Hawkings first sitcom, where his slovenly flat mate, wins every argument by proving he can climb the stairs.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ March 22, 2008, 1:50 PMMan can not live on Bread alone
A harrowing new version of 1984, where Winston SMith is driven insane. By being forced to watch nothing but gritty Carla Lane sitcoms.
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
BJ and the Bear
Boris Johnson moves in with a large polar bear, it kills, and eats him.
Jesus Christ Supercar
Christs back from the dead, but this time he's resurrected as a Lambourghini. A cross between highway to heaven, and Knite Ryder, with Jeremy CLarkson as Michael Knite/that beardy guy in highway.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Leevil said:
Like Friends but with dinosaurs.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, ajp29 said:
Wheres my Finger?
Camera gradually pans out over the half hour to reveal where the main character's finger is
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Pull my finger.
Davina off of BB tries to get people to date one of her fingers. Then farts on them.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Leevil said:
Quote: ajp29 @ March 23, 2008, 3:56 AMWheres my Finger?
Camera gradually pans out over the half hour to reveal where the main character's finger is
View original
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Up Pompei,
A small comera is stuck up the bumholes, of Southampton's football team.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, SlagA said:
Court in the Act - Slobodan Milosevic and Heather Mills are lovers and a crack defence team that bugger it up for their under-priveledged defendants.
Randall and Cock deceased - After a tragic accident with a moulinex juicer, P.I. Randall discovers he has 'phantom cock disorder.' Although it appears in his pants at awkward moments, his co-stars fail to notice. The only crime to go unsolved is that the scriptwriters got paid for the shite.
Too many cocks spoil the broth - A failing porno production company goes into the catering business; breast, leg, and stuffing jokes abound.
A right tit - One of Jill Pinko's tits suddenly and inexplicably becomes a Nazi. It organises rallies and parades. Finally after a drunken night at a Munich beer hall it stages a coup and turns up in Stalingrad with a division of tanks. Each week Jill averts a major international incident.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Not so fond of the first, but the rest are great!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
That last one's on Bravo on Tuesday nights.
Nice bunch in general, glad to to see your comedy writings!
ET, and Beety, on the DT
ET and Beety (Maureen Lipman), stars of British Telecoms most expensive and self indulgent adverts are both fired, and have to detox from heroin.
The Queen is Red
Her maj becomes a Marxist. Can Charles stop her, putting herself up against a wall and shooting herself.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it stink.
A man hides by a river throwing dung, inaccuratley at horses.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, swerytd said:
The Thicker Shit
A bunch of faecophiliac MPs are convinced by their shouty spin-doctors that the only way to pass a major bill is by constipating yourself to the point of bursting and then curling the largest log you can around the toilet bowl. Warning: may contain graphic images of MPs gurning.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Antony Wheeler said:
Quote: SlagA @ March 26, 2008, 9:29 PMCourt in the Too many cocks spoil the broth - A failing porno production company goes into the catering business; breast, leg, and stuffing jokes abound.
View original
Shouldn't that be 'Too Many Cocks Spoil The Brothel'? (Which, incidentally, is a joke dating back to 1981 and the 'Not The Nine O'Clock News' team.)
My suggestion:
'My Family' - Two previously well-respected British actors allow their careers and reputations to be flushed down the toilet by being fed lame jokes penned by a team of writers attempting to ape the much more successful US sitcom formula. Repeat these same gags with minor alterations for a staggering ten series.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Curt said:
man I laughed out loud at almost all of these, I especially liked the "Pull My Finger".
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
Not only is 'Where's My Finger' a great idea, I hear on the grapevine that BBC 84 have already commisioned a pilot episode. Apparently there's a sequel already lined up called 'Where's My Finger of Fudge?'
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Quote: swerytd @ March 27, 2008, 11:15 AMThe Thicker Shit
A bunch of faecophiliac MPs are convinced by their shouty spin-doctors that the only way to pass a major bill is by constipating yourself to the point of bursting and then curling the largest log you can around the toilet bowl. Warning: may contain graphic images of MPs gurning.
View original
Careful if Gordie reads it it'll be policy. If Cameron reads it he'll compete, and then we'll have a contest in Parlaiment between 2 thick, slimy shits. Would any one notice.
Yes minister
70s prog rock band get voted into Parliament.
Andrew Gilligan's island
Andrew Gilligan is strnaded on a small South Sea island, and must make cultural documentaries for the intelligentsia by inmterviewing monkeys, and crabs.
Gordon Ramases kitchen nightmares
Gordon goes back in time, and becomes a Pharoh. Forces his 1000s of slaves, to build bast bistros, and gastro pubs in his honour. When an Israelite serves him soup in a chipped plate, slays all of their first born,.
300 what a result. I got the 300th post, this is a fab thread, well done us all!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, swerytd said:
Will and Grace and Favour
'Straight' gay Will Truman comes up against gay's gay John Humphries in a big gay-off. The world almost implodes as Grace's neurosis goes into overdrive when asked about her pussy and Captain Peacock is completely bewildered by Jack.
Dan
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Aaron said:
Quote: sootyj @ March 27, 2008, 12:37 PMGordon Ramases kitchen nightmares
Gordon goes back in time, and becomes a Pharoh. Forces his 1000s of slaves, to build bast bistros, and gastro pubs in his honour. When an Israelite serves him soup in a chipped plate, slays all of their first born,.
View original
Typographical errors aside, very funny!
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Leevil said:
Quote: roscoff @ March 27, 2008, 12:09 PMNot only is 'Where's My Finger' a great idea, I hear on the grapevine that BBC 84 have already commisioned a pilot episode. Apparently there's a sequel already lined up called 'Where's My Finger of Fudge?'
View original
There's also 'Where's my Finger with Ben Fogle?'.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
At least it's not
Where's my finger? In Ben Fogle
Loved the Will and Grace and Favour one, thats well weapon
The Orifice
Riki Gervias as a dislikeable manager of a clinic specialising in anal warts
One in the Hand is worth 2 in the Bush.
A male prostitute services George Bush, preferring to offer him hand relief rather than bum him.
At least it's not
Where's my finger? In Ben Fogle
Loved the Will and Grace and Favour one, thats well weapon
The Orifice
Riki Gervias as a dislikeable manager of a clinic specialising in anal warts
One in the Hand is worth 2 in the Bush.
A male prostitute services George Bush, preferring to offer him hand relief rather than bum him.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, SlagA said:
Bend it like Beckham - After agreeing to appear in the 'TV' version, Eddie Izzard joins a local football team and is disappointed to learn he'd misinterpreted the title.
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, roscoff said:
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, Lee Brown said:
"At home with Fred West and Family"
Has to be a bad idea !
On Wednesday 31st December 1969 GMT at 7:00 PM GMT, sootyj said:
Spider Stan
A confused young man wanders around in his mums tights, with a pair of lacy knickers over his face. He shoots his web solution on evil doers (mainly attractive girls), before being put on the sex offenders register.
Jew-rassic Park.
Mad scientist, tries to make theme park, entirely out of cloned Jews. Watch as they flee from an enormous Ariel Sharon. Feel the fear of being stalked by hungry Woody Allens.
On the milf run
Dodgy milk man, stalks yummy mummies dropping their kids off at school.
The comic strip resents
Washed up comics from the 80s moan about how no one appreciates them anymore.