I'm going to have another go at filming soon. As I'm filming it myself I'm limited to two guys in a living room so to add something different I'm thinking of hiring a Superman costume and then coming up with a couple of sketches around that.

Here's the first one. I'm not sure about it to be honest.

http://www.shoepie.co.uk/archive/Superman-1.pdf


VERSION 2:

http://www.shoepie.co.uk/archive/Superman-2.pdf
 

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My Animations: http://www.shoepie.co.uk
 

Too slack, passable idea, but it's rather too long.
 

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The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

I enjoyed it, but agree it feels a bit long.

Also, technical point, but if you spin around really fast, how much coffee is gonna be left in the cup <cue intense Physics debate about centrifugal/centripetal forces>.

I like the idea though, just needs some trimming about how Clark is a buffoon -- I think one example is enough.

Dan
 

Thanks for the comments.

Doh! I thought it wasn't long enough! but the length seems to be a common theme so I'll see where I can cut some lines out.

I'm sort of tempted to add to the ending by making him fly round the Earth and turn back time so he can avoid falling for the "Great Escape" trap.
 

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My Animations: http://www.shoepie.co.uk
 

That's a good idea. The end of your sketch could be the beginning again then! Nice.

Dan
 

I did a supaman skit, some long time ago.
http://www.datahighways.net/dhl/downloads/w2000/TheBulge5.pdf
 

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Bill Williams
http://www.datahighways.co.uk
 

Quote: billwill @ May 10 2008, 2:35 PM BST

I did a supaman skit, some long time ago.
http://www.datahighways.net/dhl/downloads/w2000/TheBulge5.pdf

View original

 

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I'm all woman so don't refer to me as a bloke...ta [juggles]
 

ShoePie - if this is the edit then it's very good. Look forward to seeing it.

BillWill - if you want to post up a sketch please, please, open a NEW thread. It's not fair to distract critique away from the original poster's work: as has happened with BushBaby above.
 

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I liked it and the ending was good as well.
 

Oh, yes, Shoe, I like yours too.....sorry for the distraction
 

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I'm all woman so don't refer to me as a bloke...ta [juggles]
 

I read it that Shoepie was asking for superman sketches to film?
 

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Bill Williams
http://www.datahighways.co.uk
 

I thought it was good didnt think there was anything obviously slack, the pace was fine for me. Good work.
 

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Quote: billwill @ May 12 2008, 5:21 PM BST

I read it that Shoepie was asking for superman sketches to film?

View original

Apologies, Sir.
 

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The Slagg Brothers live at:welshwriters.org.uk/slaggbrothers.

Our MySpace. Feel free to add us as friends.

Our YouTube. Subscribe to us and we'll return the compliment.
 

Thanks for all the comments, I have my actors and location ready now. The only script changes I'm making are to re-write the opening....make it a bit longer so it's a bit of a clearer set-up. And adding the turn back time ending.

Quote: billwill @ May 12 2008, 5:21 PM BST

I read it that Shoepie was asking for superman sketches to film?

View original

Just to clarify I'm not looking for sketches. When I've had some more experience I would probably be up for some collaborations but right now I have my hands full holding the camera steady whilst slapping a decent performance out of my mates.
 

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My Animations: http://www.shoepie.co.uk
 

Revision 2:
I decided to use voice overs so it has a bit of Peep Show influence in there now. A few lines I need to make funnier but more or less it.

http://www.shoepie.co.uk/archive/Superman-2.pdf






 

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My Animations: http://www.shoepie.co.uk