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Topic: Help needed for a funny wedding poem. |
Charley
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May 4, 2008, 7:49 PM BST
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Any help appreciated.
A bit about the couple.
He leaves a dirty spoon out on the side after making tea. (drives her mad)
She loves To clean.
She likes bike riding, so he has to do it too.
They are going to dance classes for the wedding. He is a watford supporter.
He keeps his car filthy. He likes unhealthy food, she likes healthy.
The rest is just couple dom.
Sorry... NOT!
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Mana
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May 4, 2008, 8:25 PM BST
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Well, "spoon out on the side" rhymes with "bride"...
When I say I'm a terrible writer, I don't expect you to agree! 
"everyone die, then nothing can kill us!"
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David Chapman
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May 4, 2008, 9:04 PM BST
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Emailed to you Charley
Playwrite extraordinaire.
http://www.eols.org.uk/
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jacparov
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May 4, 2008, 9:07 PM BST
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Does he like his women like his car? Filthy.
Why must i lose to this idiot!
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sootyj
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May 4, 2008, 9:11 PM BST
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When you leave that spoon on the side?
I want to stab my groom and open him wide?
You love to clean the dirty kitchen.
But you're the dirty bitch I want my cock in?
I like to ride my bike, I like to ride her where I like.
Especially up the arse.
Worth sending to Hallmark.
The ASDA of satire.
I hate purity, I hate goodness!I don't want any virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones.
But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.
1984
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Nigel Kelly
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May 4, 2008, 9:39 PM BST
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There's a pair who are about to get hitched
His unhealthy ways must be ditched
She loves to clean
And her food must be lean
But since the stag do, he's done nothing but itch.
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Charley
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May 5, 2008, 12:45 PM BST
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Quote: jacparov @ May 4 2008, 9:07 PM BST
Does he like his women like his car? Filthy.
View original
 Thats a keeper.
Quote: sootyj @ May 4 2008, 9:11 PM BST
When you leave that spoon on the side?
I want to stab my groom and open him wide?
You love to clean the dirty kitchen.
But you're the dirty bitch I want my cock in?
I like to ride my bike, I like to ride her where I like.
Especially up the arse.
Worth sending to Hallmark.
View original
I wish I could be filthy, but sadly It will be judged before it is read. I have to be clever with the filth. Hence my need for help.
Sorry... NOT!
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bushbaby
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May 5, 2008, 12:56 PM BST
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If you're doing this for a real wedding couple, if I were you I wouldn't get personal, sometimes we don't see us as others do and you could offend.
Get a nice poem sorted
I'm all woman so don't refer to me as a bloke...ta
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David Chapman
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May 5, 2008, 12:58 PM BST
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Quote: bushbaby @ May 5 2008, 12:56 PM BST
Get a nice poem sorted
View original
You're asking Charley?
Playwrite extraordinaire.
http://www.eols.org.uk/
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bushbaby
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May 5, 2008, 12:59 PM BST
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Quote: David Chapman @ May 5 2008, 12:58 PM BST
You're asking Charley?
View original
I'm all woman so don't refer to me as a bloke...ta
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steve by any other name
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Here are a couple of extracts from the poem I wrote as part of my speech at my own wedding:
a crowded room of wedding guests
don't need to know about your breasts
a mention of your lovely bum
could bring a gasp from every one
the hardest thing to vocalise
is not the bit between your thighs,
but love
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Tuumble
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May 6, 2008, 10:46 AM BST
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Charley, my wife writes a lot of poetry and verse for greetings cards so she may be able to help. Trouble is, I can't speak to her till this afternoon but if you want me to, I will. 
Ist Aaron der Herr-Gott der ganzen Situationskomödie?
Nein.
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Charley
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May 6, 2008, 11:27 AM BST
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Hi Tuumble.
That would be cool. Fankoo.
Steve I liked that.
I have wrote one it is incredibly soppy though. Ewwwwwww I hate goo. I want a funny one. x
Sorry... NOT!
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Charley
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May 6, 2008, 12:33 PM BST
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Here is my attempt at a love one.
You are my house that I call home
You are my crowd when I feel Alone
You are my escape, when I feel delusion
You are my guard when I fear an intrusion
You are love, you are love, and you are love.
You are my encouragement when I feel forlorn
You are my breeze when I feel to warm
You are my silence when the world seems loud
You are my applause when I feel proud
You are love, you are love, and you are love
You are my map when I have lost my way
You are my audience, when I have things to say
You are my forgiver when I am at fault
You are my exit when doors have bolts
You are love, you are love, and you are love
You are my philosopher when problems appear
You are my magician & make bad things disappear
You are my bed that I have made
You are my Army when I feel afraid
You are love, you are love, and you are……. MY love.
Sorry... NOT!
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David Chapman
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May 10, 2008, 8:16 PM BST
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Pass the sick bucket!
Playwrite extraordinaire.
http://www.eols.org.uk/
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