Two penguins sitting at a table in a very posh restaurant. There is romantic music playing in the background

Penguin 1 looks around restaurant and taps table with flipper as he hums an inane tune.

Penguin 2 sighs and looks longingly into her glass.

Penguin 1 clears throat.

Penguin 1:
So......hows about those fish then?

 

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Roscoff-does anybody elses dreams keep them awake?
 

I liked it. Might work even better if you established that they're on a blind date though.
 

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www.davidbussell.com
 

David how do you know it's a blind date. Could it be a match.com date in which case the line could be 'how funny we both like fish?'.
 

Quote: Mouse @ March 27, 2008, 2:17 PM

David how do you know it's a blind date. Could it be a match.com date in which case the line could be 'how funny we both like fish?'.

View original

We don't know that they're on a blind date, it was a suggestion. Personally I'm a fan of the 'struggling for a conversation' angle. In any case, setting up the premise a little better will avoid the ambiguity in the punch.
 

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www.davidbussell.com
 

First of all thanks guys for taking the time crit my stuff and I've enjoyed reading all your suggestions. Just a point of reference but David hit it on the head when he mentioned the ambiguity of the sketch. Its absolutely true, This one and if you scroll back the 'Virgin' are both ambiguous because you have to fill in the detail. Now some may hate this style of sketch and I'm a fan of a well written punch line as anybody else. But what I do like to try and create is a backstory. Are they on a blind date? Is it an old marry couple? How would you tell with a penguin anyway and of course there's the absurdity of it all. But please keep your crits coming cos they tell me if I'm barking up the right tree and also when I hit a lame duck. Which is another story!
 

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Roscoff-does anybody elses dreams keep them awake?
 

I think it helps to put the audience on the path to a joke, even if you don't actually take them there. Let them get there themselves. I felt this was too ambiguous, there wasn't anywhere to go to. You have to pave the way, if you see what I mean.
 

Yep. And perhaps I haven't got the balance right yet but I trust you guys to tell me when/if ever I get there!!!!
 

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Roscoff-does anybody elses dreams keep them awake?
 

Quote: roscoff @ March 27, 2008, 1:38 PM

Two penguins sitting at a table in a very posh restaurant. There is romantic music playing in the background

Penguin 1 looks around restaurant and taps table with flipper as he hums an inane tune.

Penguin 2 sighs and looks longingly into her glass.

Penguin 1 clears throat.

Penguin 1:
So......hows about those fish then?

View original

It is not very good sorry and I did not get the joke.
 

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My YouTube
2 Point 4 Children


 

Jake, that's not very constructive criticism is it? Think about what you're writing before you write it please.
 

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Pull my finger...

"Every joke is a tiny revolution," thought George Orwell. "Whatever destroys dignity, and brings down the mighty from their seats, preferably with a bump, is funny."
 

Where did you come from ? and I have changed what I said.
 

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My YouTube
2 Point 4 Children


 

I quite liked this. Tho the end line for me doesn't work. "Hows about those fish then" make it sound like he's talking about a football team (is he?). Apart from that it was ok.
 

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Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination, we'll begin with a spin traveling in the world of my creation

Feel free to be as negative as you want to my scripts or sketches.

Feel free to make whatever suggestions you want to my scripts or sketches, however by making any suggestions or changes you are then giving me the right to use them without asking your permission. Which is nice.
 

Quote: Jake How @ March 28, 2008, 3:51 PM

Where did you come from ? and I have changed what I said.

View original

I am everywhere.

I liked it Roscoff. I could imagine it simply animated.
 

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Pull my finger...

"Every joke is a tiny revolution," thought George Orwell. "Whatever destroys dignity, and brings down the mighty from their seats, preferably with a bump, is funny."
 

I like the idea of a restaurant sketch featuring penguins,

It opens up a whole medley of one liners...

"Waiter I asked for this of the bone".

"Only one vegetarian option?"

"Oh bugger its all fish,I fancied a T-bone steak".

None of them especially funny BUT its got me thinking...
 

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"Francis shows great potential, if only he would shut up and listen".
 

With the greatest respect for anyone who posts their material here I have to say that I am completely bemused.

Not being the 'sharpest tool in the box' I concede that I may be completely missing the point but I really don't see it?

Please can someone explain the joke and please take into account that I might be dumb.

Thanks
 

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Sorry: It's something to do with Stella.
 

For the benefit of Thing and Jake it plays on the idea basically Penguins 'aint got much to talk about in their lives but its doubled up in a situation where in a dating or lets say an old married couple people sometimes don't really have a lot to say to each other either. Though the fact that you don't understand is fine.

By the way F green. I like 'Oh bugger its all fish'. I'd stop there with that one. Less can be more.
 

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Roscoff-does anybody elses dreams keep them awake?