EXT. A STREET
MAN1 IS WALKING ALONG, WHISTLING TO HIMSELF. A STRANGER (MAN2) WITH AN UNLIT CIGARETTE IN HIS MOUTH, STOPS HIM.
MAN2:
'Scuse me, mate, you got a light on ya?
MAN1:
Yeah, sure.
MAN1 FEELS AROUND IN HIS POCKETS AND EVENTUALLY PRODUCES A LIGHTER.
MAN1(CONT):
Here you go!
MAN2:
Ah, great one. Cheers!
MAN2 TAKES THE LIGHTER. HE STRIKES IT A FEW TIMES BUT IT WILL NOT WORK. HE BOWS HIS HEAD AND PULLS HIS COAT OUT AS A WIND BARRIER, BUT STILL THE LIGHTER WON'T WORK.
MAN1:
Look, give it here. It's a bit tricky, there's a bit of a knack to it.
MAN2:
(HANDING BACK THE LIGHTER) Oh, ok!
MAN1 RAISES HIS ARMS AND LOOKS UPWARDS.
MAN1:
(SHOUTING) Heed me, spirits of the damned.
THE WIND STARTS TO BLOW HARDER AND TO HOWL.
MAN1(CONT):
Descend now, oh wretched and vile demons of Hell, upon this earth in which you have no place.
IT BEGINS TO THUNDER.
MAN1(CONT):
(SHOUTING LOUDER) Come! Come! Bring thee from thy dark abode!
IT STARTS LIGHTENING.
MAN1(CONT):
Come! As you came when I offered unto thee the blood of my virgin children. Come! As you came when you devoured my offspring, and spewed their bones into the unquenchable furnace of Hades.
ABOVE THE THUNDER AND WIND, DEMONIC MOANING NOISES AND HISSES FILL THE AIR.
MAN1(CONT):
Bethink thyself of all the whores I have sodomised brutally, so that their blood were rich for thee as it seeped from their throats. Come now, oh despicable abominations, and give me that which I am owed!
VERY SOON EVERYTHING RETURNS TO COMPLETE CALM, AND A LITTLE FLAME POPS UP ON THE LIGHTER.
MAN1:
Ah, there you go look!
MAN1 LIGHTS MAN2'S CIGARETTE. MAN2 DOESN'T INHALE BECAUSE HE IS PARALISED WITH SHOCK, SO THAT HIS CIGARETTE CATCHES FIRE AT THE END.
MAN1:
well, see ya then.
MAN1 RESUMES HIS WHISTLE AND WALKS AWAY.
I went to the loo, and Katie came too (it was a public loo!)...I...shouted "Argh! It's too big for the hole!" - Robyn, BSG
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