The new adventures of bear poo.

It's crap.
 

---

WTF?

 

The Way The Bookie Crumbles

About a delapidated Ladbrookes.
 

---

I'm not going to sit on his face! He wouldn't let me, for a start... - Robyn, BSG

A forum for novelists, short story writers, poets, playwrights etc. Feel free to join in!
The Writers' Lodge
 

Scindlers wist, can Oscar stop playing cards long enough to save the Jews

Scindlers hissed, Oscar Schindler has to double as a martyr, and snake charmer

Schndler jist, the inarticulate her of the holocaust struggles to get his point across

Quote: ian_w @ February 21, 2008, 8:36 PM

The Way The Bookie Crumbles

About a delapidated Ladbrookes.

View original

Again it's too good, and to producable

The way the cookie crumbled, about the said fall from grace of the cookies monster.....
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Quote: Tuumble @ February 21, 2008, 8:34 PM

The new adventures of bear poo.

It's crap.

View original

To improve structurally on that joke, perhaps:

The new adventures of bear poo.

Oh no, that idea's crap.

Maybe. That's just my view though...
 

---

Imagine a world without hypothetical situations.
 

Poo bear is crap, but Rupert the bear is a wanker

he just is in his fucking check, running around the daily express, what a scunthorpe.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

I think the worst idea would be a sitcom based on a carer for the terminaly ill. Or even the doctor that delivers the news.
I suppose you could make it very dark.
*Brings up word & starts to type first epy*
 

---

Sorry... NOT!
 

Bad carer 1 9

Jen
Oh my God I can’ believe he died, I mean I know he was 93, but it’s still such a shock

Steve
I know in a care home like this, these things happen, I had the privilege to hear his last words. He shared his final message with me.

Jen
What did he say?

Steve
Arrgggghhhhhh

Jen
That’s just horrible, how could you.

Steve
Ok, joke in poor taste, what he actually said was. Don’t do it, I promise I won’t tell any one.

Jen
That’s it I’m putting in a complaint.

Steve
Could you please only I’m trying to get the sack, so I can go back on the dole


Any one want to see the sequel?



 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

 

---

Sorry... NOT!
 

Haha these are really funny. I especially liked the Apocalypse Now sitcom.
How about this:
Medomalacuphobia
Dave is scared of loosing his erection.... every day! With a hectic job, two kids and pet ferrite can Dave'keep it up'?! Find out Monday's at 10 on FOX.
 

---

-Cuuurt


 

Bad Carer 2

San
I’m sorry to hear about my father’s death, I mean 89 is a good old age.

Steve
We all loved him he was such a special man, he was always wise, rather than old, kind, and gentle

San
That’s good to hear, he was a good man.

Steve
A good man, and a very attractive man.

San
I beg your pardon.

Steve
Gorgeous man, and what an arse. Like two hard boiled eggs in a handkerchief.

San
How did he die?

Steve
Sat down on a mop to fast, with his trousers down.

San
That’s not funny I’m putting in a complaint.

Steve
Could you please I’m trying to get sacked, so I can go back on the dole.


 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

The Maths Party

All the different functions go to a party, you know sinx, cosx, lnx, they're all there. It's the worst idea for a sitcom though because the star, e^x, is feeling grumpy and when asked to come and integrate with the others, he just says 'it wont make any difference'.

Little joke for the Maths nerds out there...
 

---

Imagine a world without hypothetical situations.
 

Thats funny even though I don't understand it at all

Bye dee bye

Like hidee hi, but they kill the campers, and eat them
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

How Green was my Willy?

Follows the mishaps of everyday life at an inner-city STD clinic.

So good you'll want the to clap
 

---

Go on then! Say something funny! Go on!
 

It could have a rural follow up,

The green green arse of home.
 

---

The ASDA of satire.
"Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you."� Which is exactly what happened to Winston Smith. His rebellion was not one that was foolish and too outspoken. He silently tried to defeat the Party for his personal happiness, and in the end it cost him everything he had fought for, and his love for Julia. He had learned to love Big Brother, which was his ultimate fear when trying to live a life of individuality. The Party had defeated him.

1984
 

Dr Hugh

A sitcom set in a sleepy Yorkshire village concerning the doings of a time-travelling doctor called Hugh
 

---

Go on then! Say something funny! Go on!